Judsen & Callie
I had been bruised and broken; tossed away and forgotten, then toughened up and grew a thick skin. So when I met him not only was I guarded but also fully opposed to any possibility of a relationship, yet alone love. We met in a bar through a mutual friend that I was interested in. He was staring at me without any subtlety. “Is he taken?” I leaned over and whispered to my friend. “Yes, he’s seeing someone,” my friend mistakenly informed me. That closed the book on that opportunity.
Six months flew by since that night, and a failed relationship on my part also came and went. The next time I saw him we were at the same bar and he was wearing my high school rival’s shirt. Interest slowly began to develop. We learned that both of us had lived within a mile of each other for seven years but had gone to different high schools. He and his friends invited me back to their place after the bar. I sat next to him and he offered me his beer and cigars. I remember being struck by how nice he was.
We accidentally bumped into each other the next night at McDonald’s after my going away party. I invited him to join my friends and I. He stole all my fries and apologized profusely for it. He was so awkward and adorable throughout that get together. I can’t remember saying goodbye to him that night but I did get his number.
And then I left for England the next week for four months. I didn’t think about him then.
But around Thanksgiving, I sent him a Facebook message that started the plans for a meet-up in our hometown over the Christmas holiday. I jokingly referred to it as a ‘date’ with my England friends. The day I went back home, I arrived at 8pm after a long day of flying. I sent him a message at 8:30pm asking if he could get together because I didn’t feel jetlagged. He came close to not receiving it, but he did in the end. We went through a walk in our local woods. It was pretty. Snow was falling off the trees and the sky was a really dark blue. After, he took me to a local bar and we had a few beers and a hamburger. I bought one round, he bought the next.
And I left the next morning for two weeks vacation. We texted throughout that time. He sent awkward texts that were sometimes misinterpreted by me as rude, but when I got home he asked for a ride back to our college four hours away and I said yes. It was an amazing four hours of learning about each other and chatting away. I was surprised by how quickly it went by.
He kissed me four days later when he invited me over for dinner at his place as a thank you for the car ride. Two weeks after that, we settled into being girlfriend/boyfriend without needing to discuss it.
It was very hard for me at first. I was closed off from letting anyone in, and he had been in relationships with girls that lied and cheated. I also liked to play games a lot and he had no tolerance for them. We are both firstborn and very stubborn and used to attention.
But unlike all my other failed relationships, I began to compromise and learn from my mistakes. Imagine my surprise that the first fight we ever had was ‘won’ by him- something that had never happened before! I respected him, admired him, and was inspired by his drive. The first three months were the hardest. I fought him tooth and nail against the idea of commitment. He was patient with me and always knew the exact things to say to get me to settle down and stop playing games.
After three months, there was a swelling of feelings in my chest whenever I was around him. The thing I had been fighting against for months had finally broken free. It was love. I didn’t want to say it first because he had never said it at all. What were the chances that he would say it back? Zero, I told myself again and again. But one night we were walking home from a bowling alley and he said “Why have you been acting so strange all night? What’s wrong?” and I just yelled “I love you, okay?!” And for the longest time it didn’t feel like those words had come from my mouth. But he said it back to me about twenty minutes later—he was still reeling from being stunned.
Five months in, we began to realize that I would be moving away for a job after graduation. There were no opportunities in our small hometown and the only offers I had received were seven hours away. I was scared that we wouldn’t make it apart. I am still scared of that sometimes. He was still there for me, steadfast and patient. Our last month together was amazing. We didn’t have a single fight. We went to North Carolina for a week and walked on the beach at sunset and read on the porch in a rocking chair while it rained. Peaceful and lovely.
Then I moved, and it was really hard for the first two months. I cried every day, sometimes multiple times. But after our biggest fight two weeks ago that nearly separated us, there was calmness in me. These past two weeks have gone by smoothly and happily and I’m not afraid so much for the future.
Here is a lesson I’ve learned to get through the beginning of the distance (and possibly keep going till the distance closes): Stay strong, stay faithful, stay positive. I had two other long distance relationships before this one. One lasted three days, and one lasted one month. When I moved away, I thought that from past experience I couldn’t do this; that it would end immediately. Now we’re at three months apart and that three months alone is longer than 80% of my short distance relationships.
I can do this. I will do it because I can’t imagine my life without him. We have (hopefully) nine months left on this journey and have finished a ¼ so far.
Best of luck to everyone on their separate journeys. We are stronger than we think.
I love you, Judsen.
Forever,
-Callie
Six months flew by since that night, and a failed relationship on my part also came and went. The next time I saw him we were at the same bar and he was wearing my high school rival’s shirt. Interest slowly began to develop. We learned that both of us had lived within a mile of each other for seven years but had gone to different high schools. He and his friends invited me back to their place after the bar. I sat next to him and he offered me his beer and cigars. I remember being struck by how nice he was.
We accidentally bumped into each other the next night at McDonald’s after my going away party. I invited him to join my friends and I. He stole all my fries and apologized profusely for it. He was so awkward and adorable throughout that get together. I can’t remember saying goodbye to him that night but I did get his number.
And then I left for England the next week for four months. I didn’t think about him then.
But around Thanksgiving, I sent him a Facebook message that started the plans for a meet-up in our hometown over the Christmas holiday. I jokingly referred to it as a ‘date’ with my England friends. The day I went back home, I arrived at 8pm after a long day of flying. I sent him a message at 8:30pm asking if he could get together because I didn’t feel jetlagged. He came close to not receiving it, but he did in the end. We went through a walk in our local woods. It was pretty. Snow was falling off the trees and the sky was a really dark blue. After, he took me to a local bar and we had a few beers and a hamburger. I bought one round, he bought the next.
And I left the next morning for two weeks vacation. We texted throughout that time. He sent awkward texts that were sometimes misinterpreted by me as rude, but when I got home he asked for a ride back to our college four hours away and I said yes. It was an amazing four hours of learning about each other and chatting away. I was surprised by how quickly it went by.
He kissed me four days later when he invited me over for dinner at his place as a thank you for the car ride. Two weeks after that, we settled into being girlfriend/boyfriend without needing to discuss it.
It was very hard for me at first. I was closed off from letting anyone in, and he had been in relationships with girls that lied and cheated. I also liked to play games a lot and he had no tolerance for them. We are both firstborn and very stubborn and used to attention.
But unlike all my other failed relationships, I began to compromise and learn from my mistakes. Imagine my surprise that the first fight we ever had was ‘won’ by him- something that had never happened before! I respected him, admired him, and was inspired by his drive. The first three months were the hardest. I fought him tooth and nail against the idea of commitment. He was patient with me and always knew the exact things to say to get me to settle down and stop playing games.
After three months, there was a swelling of feelings in my chest whenever I was around him. The thing I had been fighting against for months had finally broken free. It was love. I didn’t want to say it first because he had never said it at all. What were the chances that he would say it back? Zero, I told myself again and again. But one night we were walking home from a bowling alley and he said “Why have you been acting so strange all night? What’s wrong?” and I just yelled “I love you, okay?!” And for the longest time it didn’t feel like those words had come from my mouth. But he said it back to me about twenty minutes later—he was still reeling from being stunned.
Five months in, we began to realize that I would be moving away for a job after graduation. There were no opportunities in our small hometown and the only offers I had received were seven hours away. I was scared that we wouldn’t make it apart. I am still scared of that sometimes. He was still there for me, steadfast and patient. Our last month together was amazing. We didn’t have a single fight. We went to North Carolina for a week and walked on the beach at sunset and read on the porch in a rocking chair while it rained. Peaceful and lovely.
Then I moved, and it was really hard for the first two months. I cried every day, sometimes multiple times. But after our biggest fight two weeks ago that nearly separated us, there was calmness in me. These past two weeks have gone by smoothly and happily and I’m not afraid so much for the future.
Here is a lesson I’ve learned to get through the beginning of the distance (and possibly keep going till the distance closes): Stay strong, stay faithful, stay positive. I had two other long distance relationships before this one. One lasted three days, and one lasted one month. When I moved away, I thought that from past experience I couldn’t do this; that it would end immediately. Now we’re at three months apart and that three months alone is longer than 80% of my short distance relationships.
I can do this. I will do it because I can’t imagine my life without him. We have (hopefully) nine months left on this journey and have finished a ¼ so far.
Best of luck to everyone on their separate journeys. We are stronger than we think.
I love you, Judsen.
Forever,
-Callie
Comment