We Never Met ...What Now?
So my partner, K, and I started talking on an online forum. We never met. He's in India and I'm in the U.S. He's Hindu and I'm Christian. We don't necessarily have a ton in common, but we get along very well. We are very attracted to each other. And we have built and are continuing to build a strong relationship.
No one on either side knows about this relationship. So to his family and friends I don't exist, likewise for me (except for a cousin I showed his pic to once). We talk almost everyday via WhatsApp and we Skype occasionally. I don't get to hear his voice enough
. We don't really have an anniversary date, but we've known each other since April 2013, so almost 3 years and you can say we started to talk romantically about a year in. So almost 3 years later our relationship has weathered a few "storms" - me calling it quits, which lasted for a month and a 2 weeks of silence "argument". We have never actually argued in our entire time of knowing each other. We have been mad at each other, but we eventually talk it out. And I love that about us.
I have expressed to him that sometimes I lose hope in our relationship because I just don't see us coming together - cultural barriers, location, religion, family, finances. And he doesn't like hearing that. Nonetheless, during our last discussion on this we are committed to making it work. K is very optimistic and I'm the worrier. But sometimes I feel like he isn't being realistic about our situation. I'm like "PANIC, PANIC, PANIC!" And he's like "it's going to be okay" LOL I generally feel like I'm a bit more frustrated by our distance than he is.
We are both very family oriented. So when thoughts like closing the distance come up I stress out. I don't mind moving, but it's a bit nerve-racking given other circumstances. Further, I'm 100% sure his parents won't accept me. He actually told me that too. But he says he'll convince them and eventually they'll like me. I know my parents biggest concern (and mine to some extent) is our religious beliefs.
We are both career-oriented as well, he works full-time and I'm a full-time grad student. Financially we aren't very stable so meeting and missing each other like crazy has been a big issue and topic of discussion often. Meeting is the first order of business, but in the back of mind I'm always wondering more about the future. Like "after we meet then what"? Go back to life as usual? That's going to be crazy hard. So when do we meet next? Another 3 or 4 years later? I truly do love him, but I can't see how this plays out. We have no date, year, or deadline scheduled to met. Should I set a time limit? Like "if we don't meet in the next year or two we should call it quits"? I really don't want to do that, but I would just like to have a date or something in mind...to look forward to. You know?
Any advice? Anyone going through something like this? Or went through something like thing? This waiting game is hard.
No one on either side knows about this relationship. So to his family and friends I don't exist, likewise for me (except for a cousin I showed his pic to once). We talk almost everyday via WhatsApp and we Skype occasionally. I don't get to hear his voice enough
. We don't really have an anniversary date, but we've known each other since April 2013, so almost 3 years and you can say we started to talk romantically about a year in. So almost 3 years later our relationship has weathered a few "storms" - me calling it quits, which lasted for a month and a 2 weeks of silence "argument". We have never actually argued in our entire time of knowing each other. We have been mad at each other, but we eventually talk it out. And I love that about us.I have expressed to him that sometimes I lose hope in our relationship because I just don't see us coming together - cultural barriers, location, religion, family, finances. And he doesn't like hearing that. Nonetheless, during our last discussion on this we are committed to making it work. K is very optimistic and I'm the worrier. But sometimes I feel like he isn't being realistic about our situation. I'm like "PANIC, PANIC, PANIC!" And he's like "it's going to be okay" LOL I generally feel like I'm a bit more frustrated by our distance than he is.
We are both very family oriented. So when thoughts like closing the distance come up I stress out. I don't mind moving, but it's a bit nerve-racking given other circumstances. Further, I'm 100% sure his parents won't accept me. He actually told me that too. But he says he'll convince them and eventually they'll like me. I know my parents biggest concern (and mine to some extent) is our religious beliefs.
We are both career-oriented as well, he works full-time and I'm a full-time grad student. Financially we aren't very stable so meeting and missing each other like crazy has been a big issue and topic of discussion often. Meeting is the first order of business, but in the back of mind I'm always wondering more about the future. Like "after we meet then what"? Go back to life as usual? That's going to be crazy hard. So when do we meet next? Another 3 or 4 years later? I truly do love him, but I can't see how this plays out. We have no date, year, or deadline scheduled to met. Should I set a time limit? Like "if we don't meet in the next year or two we should call it quits"? I really don't want to do that, but I would just like to have a date or something in mind...to look forward to. You know?
Any advice? Anyone going through something like this? Or went through something like thing? This waiting game is hard.
And I so can relate to some of the things you've written. It's tough to wait that long time and not knowing when to meet. We haven't met yet but right now it's not the best moment for me in my life. Trying to fit in with the new work I've begun, still living at parents, not good economy. No matter how much I want to meet him it's not a good time for me right now. I could wait a year or two. It helps to plan our meeting though(without setting the date). What clothes to wear, what to do. And we sometimes ponder about the future but not too deep yet.
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