Crazly loving him

[indianlove]

In the biginning we were just friends.
And we both we are married, we know each other from 08 mounths.
From my side, i denied my feelings for him.
Then really, it become amaizing.
We never have video call, just by typing, messanger, emails ....
Few pics. He changed all my life.
We both have problems with our partners.
We have different religions. We have different language. I learnd some english by talking to him.
But we can't control it.
We plan to meet each other. To get married.
I know this is crazy. Even i have two children. And he not yet.
When we talk we are in love, just this, in love, really we forget our real world.
He make me smiling all the time.
We meet daily, we talk about everything. He is my best buddy. My everything.
And he say he love me.
We had misunderstanding many times. But we couldn't stop this relation.
I know that have no sense. But even i can feel him with me, in my life, my daily life.
And he make my life better. And i can bear all my house problem and with my husband, it become better.
It is crazy but sometimes i feel his touch, and i feel his breath and i can see his smile near me.

What should i do? Should i stop all this?
He really dreams hight, about our life together. He plans about many things for our futur together.
And now i feel this is not enought.
I mean, to meet him by emails, that make me crazy, and i start have doubt on him.
I don't know why. May be because i feel my love become more and more big for him.
And really his love become painful. But i can't tell him that.
I read his messages many times a day.
And now i start have doubt on his love. I start thinking that all this are lies. That it can't be true.
No one give to other proof of love.
So i feel confused. I need proof of his love.
I told him about. He say that he trust me, that he trust my love for him.
And that he is sooo hurted by my talk about my doubt.
I am really confused now.
I really need some advices and some help.

Please advice me.
And thank you.

[sasad]

Neither of you have any business hurting your spouses and even your children like you are.
If you are not in love or happy with your spouses, then leave them first. Find yourself before you try to find someone also. You are planning a life with someone you have never met. Never skyped with...just pictures?

Please stop and think what you are doing. How will it affect your kids and husband? If your life is bad, then get out and change it. Don't mess up and hurt people especially with someone you don't know.

Why do you doubt him? You must have a reason....

[indianlove]

Don't worry, i will never hurt my husband, and i will never leave my children.
He say the same. But we can't stop planning, we can't stop talking.
We tried. We talk we talk, and really we are sooooooooooo happy when we do it.
And yes, we have never never make a video call, on skype or other way.

He always support me, and conveince me to do the right thing, and to succeed in my life. He find what i do till now is amazing with all problems i have with my husband.
He know me more then my husband, really, and i can tell him all what i want.
Me too, i hear him, i advice him, i support him.
And even i always told him to take care of his wife. And that he have to make his own happiness.
I know he do all his duties with his wife.
I do the same with my husband.

But i can't stay without talking to him. And i think and feel he have the same feelings for me.
We just feel all happiness of the world when we talk (tchat, or email).

I start have doubte because of my feelings of guilty, i mean why we do this,? Why we meet? We are married so we should stop this.

I don't know. Just to think that we have to stop this make me soooooooo sad.
and i can't stop my tears.

Really what should i do?
Should i stop this? Should i continue?

[sasad]

That is not anyone's decision here but your own. YOU both are making choices and you BOTH have to decide, not us.

How would you both feel if your spouses were doing this to you? You are sharing your life dreams and desires with someone you have never ever even skyped or talked to online or in real life. You feel guilty... answer your own questions and listen to your doubts. If you feel like you are doing something wrong, then you most likely are.

I have children, but separated and had a life before I got together with my SO. Yes, dissolving a marriage hurts, especially with kids. Yes, I wanted my son with me, and for me and my ex to get along enough to talk. And you know what, we do. And a lot of that is because neither of us stepped out of our marriage before we split. I get to keep my child and not worry about adultery charges.

Why don't you talk to your husband more? I am assuming you are both still having sexual relations with your spouses.. so why not work on THAT part first... if that doesn't work, move on..
Sorry... so many people are going to be hurt if you are not careful.

[R&R]

This is going to be harsh but you're asking so here it goes - you are 35 years old and it's about time you grow up. You act like you have not control over this or you just can't stop. Actually, you can but you choose not to.

The talks you are having with this man are talks you should be having with your husband. If you are having issues with your husband or if your marriage is so bad that you "need" continual support from this other person, than you really need to look at your marriage and make a decision. You either stay in the marriage and do what it takes to make it work, such as counseling, or you need to leave your spouse and focus on getting yourself back on track. The same goes for him and his wife. And like it or not, all this time, attention and focus you are putting on this other person is taking away from your kids.

You are having an emotional/online affair. It is not romantic. It is not sweet. It is not amazing. It is wrong. You are both making up unrealistic dreams to escape your real lives and taking away time and emotions from your spouses. Imagine if each of you took the time and effort that you are investing in each other and put it into your own marriages and families - I have a feeling you would see a change.

So make a decision and stick with it. Are you going to stay with your spouse and children? The drop this guy. If you are going to leave your husband and get a divorce, than start figuring out what you are going to do. Cheating never ends well for anyone.

[Elizabeth123]

You are BOTH cheating on your spouses. If you are in a bad marriage get a divorce and then seek another relationship.
You are being selfish and hurting your children too. I have no children but my parents were miserable toward each other and it did affect me as their child. Your first responsibility is to your children. Is this the example you want your children to learn....parents teach by example.
Be mature enough to end this affair. If he truly loves you he will wait for you.

[indianlove]

Actually few years ago my husband did it, and it was in time when i workd so hard to save our life and our family. And i deceided to not leave him because we have children.

I m with my husband just because of our children. So noway to leave him.

Talking to the guy make me happy and that i m alive. This is why i find so hard to stop this relation. Just i think that we can meet for real if me and my husband deceid to leave each other.
Same for him.

I know this is stupid. But beleive me i feel loving the guy like i never did before. And for me and him, it was an arronged marriage, so not really love with our parteners.

[R&R]

You don't stay in a marriage because of children. I left my daughters dad when they were 4 & 5. He had cheated through both of my pregnancies (which I found out later) and there were other issues. Don't use your kids as an excuse or your ex's behavior for your current behavior. You are making a choice - just like your husband did. Your kids are the only innocent ones in this whole scenario.

[indianlove]

Yes. All what u say is right.
Cheating nevet ends well for anyone.
But we both me and husband know we are together because of children. Just because of them.
And i stay talking to this guy because all this is not real. And nothing will happen for real because both of us are married and we are sooo far from each other and noway to meet for now.
It is not romantic, it is not sweet. it is wrong. But i think it helps us to continue our actuel life.

[indianlove]

Yes. They are the owly innocent.
Do you think i want to hurt them?
Do you think i don't care of their feelings.?
Anyway..
Thank you for your advice.
And i know all this will stop soon.
So don't worry. I m a good mother.

[indianlove]

Thank you all.
Yes will stop all this.
I will never hurt my children, my family will be great.
I just thaugh that to have a long distance relation, to find love somewhere, even love without future, just that someone think of you can't hurt anyone.
Thank you again.