Hi all, I’m a girl from Cleveland who’s in love with a guy who lives on the other side of the country. We met in 2003 or 2004 (the details are a bit fuzzy) in an online roleplaying game. Mine was a good, law abiding character and his was an outlaw. His shady character tried to convince my good character to join the dark side. While he may not have convinced my character, I was hooked on him. We began talking outside the game and quickly fell in love. The problem was that I was in a long term relationship at the time. As our love grew, I booked a flight to go see him and tried to break things off with my boyfriend. But being young and dumb, I was convinced to stay and try to make things work time and again. I was mainly convinced because I was scared of a long distance relationship with someone I had yet to even meet in person. I missed my flight and quickly regretted it. Nothing was solved in my relationship and things got bad again.
Then I found out I was pregnant.
Telling my love was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Both of our hearts were shattered. He was angry. I was broken.
I knew then that ever leaving Ohio was not going to be possible. I resigned myself to living life as it came to me. My boyfriend proposed and I married him for all the wrong reasons, but the arguing stopped. We had kids and built a life together. I was happy. Life was good. Easy.
However, through it all, my long distance love remained on my mind. Everything reminded me of him. Books I read, movies I saw. I saw him in my dreams. I thought about him every year on his birthday. Little waves of love would crash over me here and there, making me miss him. After the initial hurt wore off we kept in touch, talking about our lives every now and then. No matter how much time passed, we could always pick right back up with our comfortable conversation.
This spring was one of those times, we picked up where we left off and caught up in one another’s lives. My family had a road trip coming up that would take me through his home state. What I didn’t expect were the strong feelings that overcame me as we drove through. I felt desperate to get to him. The little waves of love I was used to became a giant tsunami and I felt like I was drowning.
How silly. Here I had everything. The American dream. Husband that loves me. Amazing kids. Beautiful home; acreage. No debt. A job I love. Supportive, loving extended family. Literally zero reasons to be unhappy and yet something was not right. There was an emptiness that would not go away. It nagged at me for years, but during that drive it went away… for a brief moment in time, when my mind believed for a split second that I could be close. I was still madly, unconditionally in love with him.
On the way back, during my second ride through his home state I HAD to talk to him. We texted back and forth the whole ride home. Over the next few days, we texted constantly and I worked up the nerve to confess my feelings for him. He was shocked. He reminded me that I broke his heart. I finally got to tell him how broken-hearted I was, too, since at the time I didn’t dare talk about me or my own feelings. Slowly he confessed that I had been in his dreams, as well. He told me that he believed the feelings he had for me were also love. After 12 years and the heartbreak we suffered, we loved each other! The same desperation to be close to him that gripped me on my drive made me book a flight to go see him. My husband, who already knew that I had a boyfriend (we have an open relationship), gave me his blessing and simply said, “just don’t come back pregnant.” I’m finally going to see my love in 12 days!
Then I found out I was pregnant.
Telling my love was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. Both of our hearts were shattered. He was angry. I was broken.
I knew then that ever leaving Ohio was not going to be possible. I resigned myself to living life as it came to me. My boyfriend proposed and I married him for all the wrong reasons, but the arguing stopped. We had kids and built a life together. I was happy. Life was good. Easy.
However, through it all, my long distance love remained on my mind. Everything reminded me of him. Books I read, movies I saw. I saw him in my dreams. I thought about him every year on his birthday. Little waves of love would crash over me here and there, making me miss him. After the initial hurt wore off we kept in touch, talking about our lives every now and then. No matter how much time passed, we could always pick right back up with our comfortable conversation.
This spring was one of those times, we picked up where we left off and caught up in one another’s lives. My family had a road trip coming up that would take me through his home state. What I didn’t expect were the strong feelings that overcame me as we drove through. I felt desperate to get to him. The little waves of love I was used to became a giant tsunami and I felt like I was drowning.
How silly. Here I had everything. The American dream. Husband that loves me. Amazing kids. Beautiful home; acreage. No debt. A job I love. Supportive, loving extended family. Literally zero reasons to be unhappy and yet something was not right. There was an emptiness that would not go away. It nagged at me for years, but during that drive it went away… for a brief moment in time, when my mind believed for a split second that I could be close. I was still madly, unconditionally in love with him.
On the way back, during my second ride through his home state I HAD to talk to him. We texted back and forth the whole ride home. Over the next few days, we texted constantly and I worked up the nerve to confess my feelings for him. He was shocked. He reminded me that I broke his heart. I finally got to tell him how broken-hearted I was, too, since at the time I didn’t dare talk about me or my own feelings. Slowly he confessed that I had been in his dreams, as well. He told me that he believed the feelings he had for me were also love. After 12 years and the heartbreak we suffered, we loved each other! The same desperation to be close to him that gripped me on my drive made me book a flight to go see him. My husband, who already knew that I had a boyfriend (we have an open relationship), gave me his blessing and simply said, “just don’t come back pregnant.” I’m finally going to see my love in 12 days!