Before I met Sllver, I had thrown myself into World of Warcraft (WoW), an online game with over eleven million players worldwide. It gave me some respite from the anguish and exhaustion of raising two small children, alone.
In this new world, I would be so ruthless, competitive and cold blooded that any man who glanced in my direction, would instantly be turned to stone. Love was finally dead, it had nearly killed me in the process and would fear me from now on.
After playing for awhile, I was introduced to a new guild (group) of which Sllver was a part. In WoW it is difficult to tell whether players are male or female. It is not until you get into Vent (group voice chat) that you discover the truth about the people behind the 'toons' on screen.
Sllver was a guy from Texas with a southern accent which was magnetic to me. He was also excruciatingly arrogant, infuriatingly confident and wickedly flirtatious. He would throw *winks* at girls in the guild... but never me. I was silently annoyed with his superficial displays yet wildly jealous at the same time. Love was dead. Lust on the other hand, was not. I convinced myself I would not be impressed by Sllver and his ways.
I was one of hundreds of people in this guild. Curiously, though, we always seemed to be in the same place at the same time, in game. We had a preference for fighting other players (PvP) instead of playing against the game (PvE). We would ride into battle, side by side, taking down other players, who were as wildly unpredictable as we were ourselves. We would watch each others backs and were a great team. The intensity and chaos of this style of play was a rush, and so was Sllver.
Our time on WoW was the highlight of my day. We got on so well and had some amazing adventures in the game. We would talk on Vent and type, in game, about all sorts of ideas and thoughts, as friends do. I was drawn to him more and more. His charm and personality had warmed my cold heart. He was smart and fearless which appealed to my brain.
Around that time, he asked me how old I was. Thinking he must be in his thirties, I blurted out I was twenty eight when I was forty four. He then said he was twenty four. I was speechless. Then, a bombshell, I found out Sllver was engaged. I had never asked if he was single and it had never come up. We were just friends but I was heart broken. I didn't think I could be his friend anymore. I felt guilty being so drawn to someone who was going to marry someone else. I was angry at myself for being foolish and having an imaginary romance, to escape a difficult life. My own lies to him about my age were also weighing heavily on me. It was time to leave Sllver, forever.
I convinced myself I just needed to back away from him, slowly, to nurse my wounded heart and clear my addled brain. Then I would just disappear one day. I didn't want him to think he had done anything wrong. He had his whole life ahead of him. I was so sad. Each time I took a step away from him, he seemed to step forward. This went on for weeks. I'm sure he sensed I was distancing myself. I tried so hard to walk away without looking like I was doing just that.
I remember one day he asked me what I thought about 'Love'? I told him 'Love was dead'. I wanted to leave WoW so badly so I could begin to get over him but in the end I couldn't do it. So good friends we were to remain. He would have his life and I would continue mine. He was in the USA and I in Australia and so nothing could happen anyway, right?
He told me, one day, about a fortune cookie he had at a restaurant. It said 'It's always tomorrow in Australia.' He asked me what I thought about that. I didn't know what to say. I sensed he was smiling. I was too. Eventually his relationship ended and we were able to start being more honest with each other about how we felt. Finally we declared how much we meant to each other and wanted to be together. I confessed to him about my age. I apologised and we moved forward.
So here we are. Turns out Love wasn't dead after all. It was just sleeping within Èternity's wintery heart, waiting for Sllver's warm embrace....
In this new world, I would be so ruthless, competitive and cold blooded that any man who glanced in my direction, would instantly be turned to stone. Love was finally dead, it had nearly killed me in the process and would fear me from now on.
After playing for awhile, I was introduced to a new guild (group) of which Sllver was a part. In WoW it is difficult to tell whether players are male or female. It is not until you get into Vent (group voice chat) that you discover the truth about the people behind the 'toons' on screen.
Sllver was a guy from Texas with a southern accent which was magnetic to me. He was also excruciatingly arrogant, infuriatingly confident and wickedly flirtatious. He would throw *winks* at girls in the guild... but never me. I was silently annoyed with his superficial displays yet wildly jealous at the same time. Love was dead. Lust on the other hand, was not. I convinced myself I would not be impressed by Sllver and his ways.
I was one of hundreds of people in this guild. Curiously, though, we always seemed to be in the same place at the same time, in game. We had a preference for fighting other players (PvP) instead of playing against the game (PvE). We would ride into battle, side by side, taking down other players, who were as wildly unpredictable as we were ourselves. We would watch each others backs and were a great team. The intensity and chaos of this style of play was a rush, and so was Sllver.
Our time on WoW was the highlight of my day. We got on so well and had some amazing adventures in the game. We would talk on Vent and type, in game, about all sorts of ideas and thoughts, as friends do. I was drawn to him more and more. His charm and personality had warmed my cold heart. He was smart and fearless which appealed to my brain.
Around that time, he asked me how old I was. Thinking he must be in his thirties, I blurted out I was twenty eight when I was forty four. He then said he was twenty four. I was speechless. Then, a bombshell, I found out Sllver was engaged. I had never asked if he was single and it had never come up. We were just friends but I was heart broken. I didn't think I could be his friend anymore. I felt guilty being so drawn to someone who was going to marry someone else. I was angry at myself for being foolish and having an imaginary romance, to escape a difficult life. My own lies to him about my age were also weighing heavily on me. It was time to leave Sllver, forever.
I convinced myself I just needed to back away from him, slowly, to nurse my wounded heart and clear my addled brain. Then I would just disappear one day. I didn't want him to think he had done anything wrong. He had his whole life ahead of him. I was so sad. Each time I took a step away from him, he seemed to step forward. This went on for weeks. I'm sure he sensed I was distancing myself. I tried so hard to walk away without looking like I was doing just that.
I remember one day he asked me what I thought about 'Love'? I told him 'Love was dead'. I wanted to leave WoW so badly so I could begin to get over him but in the end I couldn't do it. So good friends we were to remain. He would have his life and I would continue mine. He was in the USA and I in Australia and so nothing could happen anyway, right?
He told me, one day, about a fortune cookie he had at a restaurant. It said 'It's always tomorrow in Australia.' He asked me what I thought about that. I didn't know what to say. I sensed he was smiling. I was too. Eventually his relationship ended and we were able to start being more honest with each other about how we felt. Finally we declared how much we meant to each other and wanted to be together. I confessed to him about my age. I apologised and we moved forward.
So here we are. Turns out Love wasn't dead after all. It was just sleeping within Èternity's wintery heart, waiting for Sllver's warm embrace....
Beautiful.
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