Hi all, I guess it's time to tell my story. Just got back about a week ago from living it, and at times still quite sad about it. I've been feeling like talking about it, and letting the American world know that my time in China was real, and that he is a real person, is making me feel better...
First of all, basics. I'm 20, immigrated from China when I was 8 with family, college student in soCal. He's 25, Chinese, and a personal trainer at the local gym I went to while I was abroad. Graduated college from basically an athlete training major(the closest American equivalent I can think of), but did a lot of wushu.
We met at the gym, just as my roommate joked I'd meet my boyfriend. hehehe. Basically, personal trainers in China also teach group classes, and since this particular trainer had special wushu background, he kind of crafted an exercise class out of that, and offered it. I thought it was interesting, and took it. Noticed him as the teacher, and it all just kind of went along for 2-3 weeks, until I realized I had a crush.
Then I was too damn shy for about an entire month to talk to him, except one sentences exchanges. This was also due to the fact that my personal interaction with other trainers is that they are MUCH, MUCH older than me-I’ve met quite a few that had ten year old kids. How was I supposed to know he was not the same? Therefore, I thought myself mad for a long time for crushing on an old guy. This all ended when he started approaching ME, first asking me a bit more in class about where I was from and what I was studying, then approaching me outside of class for other chatter. Like how America was like, whether gyms were bigger there. I went along, happy with perhaps settling for just this, that my crush was talking to me for the first time in my life.
Surprise again, as near the end of October he randomly presents me with the idea to "teach me English!" (By that point we'd become friendly enough acquientances-sp?). I was thrown for quite another loop. This was also the point at which I learned he was 25, not like…35, and thus my disgust at my own weird taste dropped to the wayside. 25 was a ways older, but not that bad
Did not agree to it for a week until the next time we saw each other, because I was getting suspicions at that point that wow, is he actually interested in me, the tall awkward girl? I've honestly never had guys openly chase after me/be interested in me, because they were intimidated or not attracted by the height(6', and proudly Chinese). This, in hindsight, is a regret, that I delayed our friendship a week because of pointless suspicion and overthought.
But after a week I agreed to it, and so we started meeting a couple times a week for "lessons"-which evolved more into getting to know each other chatter(his English was so terrible that I couldn't really make much tutoring headway, because as much as my Mandarin is good, it isn't THAT good that I can explain technical terms). Whereas at first I thought him friendly, yet somewhat austere, I was getting more and more attracted by his yes friendly, but also sensitively sweet nature. He keeps a diary. He remembers what he writes in that thing from years ago. He watches dating shows. Likes to treasure relationships. It goes on.
At one point, he randomly mentions that he's had a sore throat for a while. After a couple days and it doesn't go away, I buy him pears and honey and gruffly tell him to go make himself a boiled drink out of it(he'd been treating me out to lunch after every meeting, and I'd felt bad about it, because it was really adding up). He swears this is the point at which he starts liking me, but I'd like to think it was earlier and he didn't know it yet
We continue these language sessions, with a few really early morning in 40-50 degree weather runs together(as only crazy and fond of exercising for its own sake people can). Eventually, by the end of the month, it'd become pretty damn obvious the English thing was thrown out the window, and we were just seeking to hang out for the sake of hanging out. Ok, I was the one initiating all the hanging out, but I would soon find out that that was just the kind of person he was. And that he was totally thrilled by all the time we were together too. At one point, i was getting both fed up with the stagnation and sad that I was going to leave within the week. So I decided to open the hell up and confess, because then there would be the big regret of never knowing, and perhaps walking out of his life forever if we don’t create a strong enough bond.
In hindsight, I’m still not sure what I was thinking. It may even have worked out better if I let it be. But one day, I just gathered up the courage and went to the gym intending to find him alone at some point during my workout, and have the talk. I ended up finding him halfway through, when he was on the way out to dinner. I am of the type to talk A LOT when I’m nervous, and thus after bubbling through some stuff, the words came out. He was taken aback by it, but told me that he’d have to really talk to me tomorrow, because he wanted to have enough time to properly express things.
I worried, and then it turns out that he was just being a typical guy bad at expressing his feelings. He said it took him quite a long time thinking about exactly what to say x3. In the end, both he and I didn’t, and aren’t now considering a LDR to be an option.
So between the confession and the end we had more dates(nobody could deny they were dates now). 5-6 hrs alone every morning(it was almost every morning) that we could get-since he worked afternoons, doing everything and yet doing nothing-sitting together in a café watching the owner’s cats, wandering through a frozen Old Summer Palace, more sitting in a different café, cuddling and watching a movie. Lots of hand holding. On the very day I left, since I had an evening flight, I even invaded his workplace and just hung out for as long as I could. I swear, even though he says they don’t know, the other trainers have some kind of a clue what I am to him. They all give me what I read as funny or knowing looks >_>
And when it came time for the last goodbye, he gave me my first kiss. Es. Three short kisses that initially confused me, and then the moment I realized what was happening made me cry harder and try to hold on tighter. These days, I’m mostly and loving this part of my life, there are moments when all the trip will just be out of my mind. I’m definitely joyous when I’m calling him, but there are still sometimes when I’m quietly sitting in my room at night reading that something pulls the cover on the “I miss him so badly” feeling and I just want to cry.
First of all, basics. I'm 20, immigrated from China when I was 8 with family, college student in soCal. He's 25, Chinese, and a personal trainer at the local gym I went to while I was abroad. Graduated college from basically an athlete training major(the closest American equivalent I can think of), but did a lot of wushu.
We met at the gym, just as my roommate joked I'd meet my boyfriend. hehehe. Basically, personal trainers in China also teach group classes, and since this particular trainer had special wushu background, he kind of crafted an exercise class out of that, and offered it. I thought it was interesting, and took it. Noticed him as the teacher, and it all just kind of went along for 2-3 weeks, until I realized I had a crush.
Then I was too damn shy for about an entire month to talk to him, except one sentences exchanges. This was also due to the fact that my personal interaction with other trainers is that they are MUCH, MUCH older than me-I’ve met quite a few that had ten year old kids. How was I supposed to know he was not the same? Therefore, I thought myself mad for a long time for crushing on an old guy. This all ended when he started approaching ME, first asking me a bit more in class about where I was from and what I was studying, then approaching me outside of class for other chatter. Like how America was like, whether gyms were bigger there. I went along, happy with perhaps settling for just this, that my crush was talking to me for the first time in my life.
Surprise again, as near the end of October he randomly presents me with the idea to "teach me English!" (By that point we'd become friendly enough acquientances-sp?). I was thrown for quite another loop. This was also the point at which I learned he was 25, not like…35, and thus my disgust at my own weird taste dropped to the wayside. 25 was a ways older, but not that bad
Did not agree to it for a week until the next time we saw each other, because I was getting suspicions at that point that wow, is he actually interested in me, the tall awkward girl? I've honestly never had guys openly chase after me/be interested in me, because they were intimidated or not attracted by the height(6', and proudly Chinese). This, in hindsight, is a regret, that I delayed our friendship a week because of pointless suspicion and overthought.But after a week I agreed to it, and so we started meeting a couple times a week for "lessons"-which evolved more into getting to know each other chatter(his English was so terrible that I couldn't really make much tutoring headway, because as much as my Mandarin is good, it isn't THAT good that I can explain technical terms). Whereas at first I thought him friendly, yet somewhat austere, I was getting more and more attracted by his yes friendly, but also sensitively sweet nature. He keeps a diary. He remembers what he writes in that thing from years ago. He watches dating shows. Likes to treasure relationships. It goes on.
At one point, he randomly mentions that he's had a sore throat for a while. After a couple days and it doesn't go away, I buy him pears and honey and gruffly tell him to go make himself a boiled drink out of it(he'd been treating me out to lunch after every meeting, and I'd felt bad about it, because it was really adding up). He swears this is the point at which he starts liking me, but I'd like to think it was earlier and he didn't know it yet
We continue these language sessions, with a few really early morning in 40-50 degree weather runs together(as only crazy and fond of exercising for its own sake people can). Eventually, by the end of the month, it'd become pretty damn obvious the English thing was thrown out the window, and we were just seeking to hang out for the sake of hanging out. Ok, I was the one initiating all the hanging out, but I would soon find out that that was just the kind of person he was. And that he was totally thrilled by all the time we were together too. At one point, i was getting both fed up with the stagnation and sad that I was going to leave within the week. So I decided to open the hell up and confess, because then there would be the big regret of never knowing, and perhaps walking out of his life forever if we don’t create a strong enough bond.
In hindsight, I’m still not sure what I was thinking. It may even have worked out better if I let it be. But one day, I just gathered up the courage and went to the gym intending to find him alone at some point during my workout, and have the talk. I ended up finding him halfway through, when he was on the way out to dinner. I am of the type to talk A LOT when I’m nervous, and thus after bubbling through some stuff, the words came out. He was taken aback by it, but told me that he’d have to really talk to me tomorrow, because he wanted to have enough time to properly express things.
I worried, and then it turns out that he was just being a typical guy bad at expressing his feelings. He said it took him quite a long time thinking about exactly what to say x3. In the end, both he and I didn’t, and aren’t now considering a LDR to be an option.
So between the confession and the end we had more dates(nobody could deny they were dates now). 5-6 hrs alone every morning(it was almost every morning) that we could get-since he worked afternoons, doing everything and yet doing nothing-sitting together in a café watching the owner’s cats, wandering through a frozen Old Summer Palace, more sitting in a different café, cuddling and watching a movie. Lots of hand holding. On the very day I left, since I had an evening flight, I even invaded his workplace and just hung out for as long as I could. I swear, even though he says they don’t know, the other trainers have some kind of a clue what I am to him. They all give me what I read as funny or knowing looks >_>
And when it came time for the last goodbye, he gave me my first kiss. Es. Three short kisses that initially confused me, and then the moment I realized what was happening made me cry harder and try to hold on tighter. These days, I’m mostly and loving this part of my life, there are moments when all the trip will just be out of my mind. I’m definitely joyous when I’m calling him, but there are still sometimes when I’m quietly sitting in my room at night reading that something pulls the cover on the “I miss him so badly” feeling and I just want to cry.
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