So my SO and I recently took our domestic LDR to an international LDR and I'm missing him today so I thought I'd add our story here.
We went to college together in the US, he is a year younger than me. We met when he was a freshman and I was a sophomore because we both played saxophone in the school band. I was dating someone at the time, studied abroad, ended that relationship, etc, and somehow it worked out that for the first two years we knew each other, we sat next to each other for two hours every week and really didn't speak at all.
We returned to campus for my senior year/his junior year. A very flirtatious freshman now sat on my other side. He made me really uncomfortable by aggressively flirting with me and talking to me every chance he got. So I started talking to my future SO instead. I am not normally the initiator in relationships (I'm quite shy and so is my SO) and I had gotten out of an 18-month relationship only 7 months earlier. I didn't really understand what was happening, I just felt drawn to him--my roommate kept teasing me that I was going to date him, although I'd spent the first two months of senior year swearing I would not date because I was going off to grad school. I felt like I had to keep talking to him.
I debated for days about whether to ask him to my sorority social at the end of October, and eventually ended up sending him a really awkward facebook message two days before the event. He agreed to go with me, and sat through a 3-hour pre-event party with no one he knew, as well as a 4-hour social. He didn't dance with me until I initiated it, and he didn't make any sort of move at all other than walking me home, which I just figured was the nice thing to do at 1 am. I assumed he wasn't as interested as I'd thought. I talked to a guy friend, and he told me that I had to give him another chance--shy guys take a few tries to get what they want, he said. So I decided I wouldn't write him off just yet.
We had a few extra band rehearsals that weekend, and I found myself dressing up and talking to him even more. That Saturday was Halloween (2009) and before I knew it, at the end of the rehearsal I had asked him to come to a party my friends and I were going to. (using the excuse that the aforementioned creepy freshman would be there and I needed protection) He agreed, and showed up Saturday night with his roommate ready to go. After a few minutes at the party, he kissed me--the only good first kiss I've ever had. I knew it was going to be different right then :-) we stayed up until 5 am talking and kissing and getting to know each other.
The problem was that it was 6 months before graduation. I was applying to grad schools all over the East Coast and had no idea where I would be. He was a year younger but planning on graduating early with my class, but no job yet. After three weeks I started to freak out because we had fallen for each other so fast and I just didn't see the long-term prospects working out because of graduation. He promised after only three weeks together to take my grad school choice into account when looking for a job.
Unfortunately, although he did apply to and interview for several jobs near my grad school, we are in the middle of a recession and the first job he got was in his hometown. We agreed that he would move to me after 18 months--our deadline was my 24th birthday! That was a year ago--I've been going to school and he's been working, both living with our parents, about 300 miles apart. We visit about once a month--it's difficult with my workload, I'm getting my PhD, working a couple jobs, and commuting to and from school. This summer, I got a grant to do research in Germany, so for four months our LDR situation has changed a bit. He is coming to visit me halfway through the summer and immediately after returning home plans to start his search for a job near me. So hopefully within the next 6 months we'll be able to close the distance! He's starting the job search a little earlier than planned because he finds his job less than challenging and we expect it to take awhile. but here's to hoping!!
We went to college together in the US, he is a year younger than me. We met when he was a freshman and I was a sophomore because we both played saxophone in the school band. I was dating someone at the time, studied abroad, ended that relationship, etc, and somehow it worked out that for the first two years we knew each other, we sat next to each other for two hours every week and really didn't speak at all.
We returned to campus for my senior year/his junior year. A very flirtatious freshman now sat on my other side. He made me really uncomfortable by aggressively flirting with me and talking to me every chance he got. So I started talking to my future SO instead. I am not normally the initiator in relationships (I'm quite shy and so is my SO) and I had gotten out of an 18-month relationship only 7 months earlier. I didn't really understand what was happening, I just felt drawn to him--my roommate kept teasing me that I was going to date him, although I'd spent the first two months of senior year swearing I would not date because I was going off to grad school. I felt like I had to keep talking to him.
I debated for days about whether to ask him to my sorority social at the end of October, and eventually ended up sending him a really awkward facebook message two days before the event. He agreed to go with me, and sat through a 3-hour pre-event party with no one he knew, as well as a 4-hour social. He didn't dance with me until I initiated it, and he didn't make any sort of move at all other than walking me home, which I just figured was the nice thing to do at 1 am. I assumed he wasn't as interested as I'd thought. I talked to a guy friend, and he told me that I had to give him another chance--shy guys take a few tries to get what they want, he said. So I decided I wouldn't write him off just yet.
We had a few extra band rehearsals that weekend, and I found myself dressing up and talking to him even more. That Saturday was Halloween (2009) and before I knew it, at the end of the rehearsal I had asked him to come to a party my friends and I were going to. (using the excuse that the aforementioned creepy freshman would be there and I needed protection) He agreed, and showed up Saturday night with his roommate ready to go. After a few minutes at the party, he kissed me--the only good first kiss I've ever had. I knew it was going to be different right then :-) we stayed up until 5 am talking and kissing and getting to know each other.
The problem was that it was 6 months before graduation. I was applying to grad schools all over the East Coast and had no idea where I would be. He was a year younger but planning on graduating early with my class, but no job yet. After three weeks I started to freak out because we had fallen for each other so fast and I just didn't see the long-term prospects working out because of graduation. He promised after only three weeks together to take my grad school choice into account when looking for a job.
Unfortunately, although he did apply to and interview for several jobs near my grad school, we are in the middle of a recession and the first job he got was in his hometown. We agreed that he would move to me after 18 months--our deadline was my 24th birthday! That was a year ago--I've been going to school and he's been working, both living with our parents, about 300 miles apart. We visit about once a month--it's difficult with my workload, I'm getting my PhD, working a couple jobs, and commuting to and from school. This summer, I got a grant to do research in Germany, so for four months our LDR situation has changed a bit. He is coming to visit me halfway through the summer and immediately after returning home plans to start his search for a job near me. So hopefully within the next 6 months we'll be able to close the distance! He's starting the job search a little earlier than planned because he finds his job less than challenging and we expect it to take awhile. but here's to hoping!!
Hope it all works out for you this year.
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