Fresh into a LD relationship! Our story :)
Hi everyone!
My SO and I have a somewhat unusual CD/LD/CD/LD relationship. And the way we met was such a strange coincidence I can barely believe it happened! I returned to college a little over a week ago (leaving my boyfriend behind) and the pain of our separation is what spurred me to write our story. I'm hoping a bit of reminiscing will quell my heartache
So, without further adieu!
Our story begins, interestingly enough, with my friend. This friend (we'll call her Sarah) had been having terrible luck with men. She was in quite a few LD relationships herself and never felt any spark when she finally met the guy in person. Eventually I convinced her to make an account on a dating website I had been using at the time. Within two months of joining she met her now boyfriend, (we'll call him) John! John grew up a town away from us and by their first date the two were in love.
I spent the first year of their relationship idolizing what they had and longing for it myself. During this time I was very self destructive and saw more than my fair share of terrible boyfriends. My family had to call the police on one of my exes (he attacked me) and another "romance" involved me being taken advantage of by a MUCH older man. The whole debacle ended in me being extremely depressed and consistently throwing myself at terrible guys who didn't deserve me. Sarah watched this all unfold before her eyes and swore she would help me find someone who would treat me right.
Sarah asked John if he had any single friends. John had a slew of them but the one he REALLY wanted me to meet was his old pal AJ, who was living eight hours upstate at his college and never visited home. Because of this I began dating a string of John's other friends, never really hitting it off with any of them. After each failed date John would say, "I know you would REALLY like AJ, but he's so far away!"
So, after- I'm not kidding here- TWO YEARS of hearing about how AJ and I would be perfect for each other and never meeting him I eventually gave up hope and so did John. I began dating terrible men again and my depression grew.
By the time Sarah's 21st birthday arrived this past January, AJ was all but a faded memory for me. My friends and I gathered at a local Olive Garden to celebrate with Sarah. We all sat down at a giant table and I knew everyone there, they were all old friends of mine and friends of John who I had met many times before. However, as I skimmed the menu, someone unaccounted for approached the table.
I looked up and I SWEAR my heart dropped out of my chest. I know it's borderline ridiculous to say that I fell in love the minute I saw him, but, God, that's the way I remember it. AJ (though I had no idea who it was at the time) walked over to our table and pulled up a chair. John casually introduced him and everyone went back to reading their menus, but I could barely think straight. I was in awe of AJ for the rest of the night. He had just graduated college with the same major as me, liked ALL the same music as me, and had the same quirky sense of humor as me. Of course, being shy as hell, I barely spoke to him at all. MEANWHILE, John, who had been talking ME up to AJ for the past two years was confused as to whether I was single or not and told AJ I had a boyfriend!
Needless the say, the whole night was incredibly awkward. We kept flirting, feeling uncomfortable about it, and eventually just began ignoring each other.
The next day John texted me and asked me if I wanted to go out with AJ. Apparently AJ had asked about me after the party and John, through some pretty impressive facebook sleuthing, deduced that I was, in fact, single. OF COURSE I said yes! Two days later we met up at our local mall for our first date.
It was during this date that we discovered that the particular college he had attended and graduated from was the SAME college I had gone to during my freshman year! Now, this is a small college waaaaaay upstate, very far away from both our home towns. The fact that we both went there for an entire year and were on the same campus every day, with the same major, for 365 days, and never once ran into each other BLOWS MY MIND. Not only that! As we discussed our college experiences we came to realize that we have five close mutual friends and that we were at all the same parties. I still, to this day, have no idea how we didn't run into each other at school. It amazes me that it took two of our friends, who just happened to meet on a dating website and fall in love, to pretty much accidentally introduce us at a party.
Anyway, AJ and I were ecstatic to finally meet and began dating exclusively not long after our initial date. I was back at school for most of our first few months as a couple. I go to school in New York City which is about three hours away from him- the distance isn't bad but taking the train and the expense of train/subway tickets makes visiting hard. Also, my roommates are EXTREMELY religious and don't allow men and women to sleep in the same bed under their roof, so even if AJ shells out enough money for a round trip ticket and a metro card he couldn't even spend the night. It's all very, very, very frustrating.
I was home most of this past summer and our relationship grew into the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I am so in love I barely know what to do with myself. Being away from AJ now feels like a limb is being torn off. I feel like I can't fully have a good time, if that makes sense- like, no matter what I'm doing, a part of me is perpetually sad that AJ is so far away and that it's going to be weeks until we see each other again.
I've been reading the stories on here from couples who are nations apart and I just have to say, you people are heroes and stronger than I think I'll ever be.
I'm hoping this pain lessens with time, but who knows? I suppose it's different for everyone. Still, I could never regret this beautiful relationship even a little bit. Yesterday was our 5 month anniversary since we began "officially" dating, though we've been seeing each other for just under 8 months all together. I can't wait until we are reunited. Sometimes "keeping busy" just isn't enough to keep the pain away
Anyway, if you got through this, I commend you! I just wanted to share our story
I'm obviously new to this long distance relationship thing and hope to find some great support here. And if any of you are feeling heartache as I am, I hope that it is put to rest soon <3
My SO and I have a somewhat unusual CD/LD/CD/LD relationship. And the way we met was such a strange coincidence I can barely believe it happened! I returned to college a little over a week ago (leaving my boyfriend behind) and the pain of our separation is what spurred me to write our story. I'm hoping a bit of reminiscing will quell my heartache
So, without further adieu!
Our story begins, interestingly enough, with my friend. This friend (we'll call her Sarah) had been having terrible luck with men. She was in quite a few LD relationships herself and never felt any spark when she finally met the guy in person. Eventually I convinced her to make an account on a dating website I had been using at the time. Within two months of joining she met her now boyfriend, (we'll call him) John! John grew up a town away from us and by their first date the two were in love.
I spent the first year of their relationship idolizing what they had and longing for it myself. During this time I was very self destructive and saw more than my fair share of terrible boyfriends. My family had to call the police on one of my exes (he attacked me) and another "romance" involved me being taken advantage of by a MUCH older man. The whole debacle ended in me being extremely depressed and consistently throwing myself at terrible guys who didn't deserve me. Sarah watched this all unfold before her eyes and swore she would help me find someone who would treat me right.
Sarah asked John if he had any single friends. John had a slew of them but the one he REALLY wanted me to meet was his old pal AJ, who was living eight hours upstate at his college and never visited home. Because of this I began dating a string of John's other friends, never really hitting it off with any of them. After each failed date John would say, "I know you would REALLY like AJ, but he's so far away!"
So, after- I'm not kidding here- TWO YEARS of hearing about how AJ and I would be perfect for each other and never meeting him I eventually gave up hope and so did John. I began dating terrible men again and my depression grew.
By the time Sarah's 21st birthday arrived this past January, AJ was all but a faded memory for me. My friends and I gathered at a local Olive Garden to celebrate with Sarah. We all sat down at a giant table and I knew everyone there, they were all old friends of mine and friends of John who I had met many times before. However, as I skimmed the menu, someone unaccounted for approached the table.
I looked up and I SWEAR my heart dropped out of my chest. I know it's borderline ridiculous to say that I fell in love the minute I saw him, but, God, that's the way I remember it. AJ (though I had no idea who it was at the time) walked over to our table and pulled up a chair. John casually introduced him and everyone went back to reading their menus, but I could barely think straight. I was in awe of AJ for the rest of the night. He had just graduated college with the same major as me, liked ALL the same music as me, and had the same quirky sense of humor as me. Of course, being shy as hell, I barely spoke to him at all. MEANWHILE, John, who had been talking ME up to AJ for the past two years was confused as to whether I was single or not and told AJ I had a boyfriend!
Needless the say, the whole night was incredibly awkward. We kept flirting, feeling uncomfortable about it, and eventually just began ignoring each other.
The next day John texted me and asked me if I wanted to go out with AJ. Apparently AJ had asked about me after the party and John, through some pretty impressive facebook sleuthing, deduced that I was, in fact, single. OF COURSE I said yes! Two days later we met up at our local mall for our first date.
It was during this date that we discovered that the particular college he had attended and graduated from was the SAME college I had gone to during my freshman year! Now, this is a small college waaaaaay upstate, very far away from both our home towns. The fact that we both went there for an entire year and were on the same campus every day, with the same major, for 365 days, and never once ran into each other BLOWS MY MIND. Not only that! As we discussed our college experiences we came to realize that we have five close mutual friends and that we were at all the same parties. I still, to this day, have no idea how we didn't run into each other at school. It amazes me that it took two of our friends, who just happened to meet on a dating website and fall in love, to pretty much accidentally introduce us at a party.
Anyway, AJ and I were ecstatic to finally meet and began dating exclusively not long after our initial date. I was back at school for most of our first few months as a couple. I go to school in New York City which is about three hours away from him- the distance isn't bad but taking the train and the expense of train/subway tickets makes visiting hard. Also, my roommates are EXTREMELY religious and don't allow men and women to sleep in the same bed under their roof, so even if AJ shells out enough money for a round trip ticket and a metro card he couldn't even spend the night. It's all very, very, very frustrating.
I was home most of this past summer and our relationship grew into the most amazing thing I have ever experienced. I am so in love I barely know what to do with myself. Being away from AJ now feels like a limb is being torn off. I feel like I can't fully have a good time, if that makes sense- like, no matter what I'm doing, a part of me is perpetually sad that AJ is so far away and that it's going to be weeks until we see each other again.
I've been reading the stories on here from couples who are nations apart and I just have to say, you people are heroes and stronger than I think I'll ever be.
I'm hoping this pain lessens with time, but who knows? I suppose it's different for everyone. Still, I could never regret this beautiful relationship even a little bit. Yesterday was our 5 month anniversary since we began "officially" dating, though we've been seeing each other for just under 8 months all together. I can't wait until we are reunited. Sometimes "keeping busy" just isn't enough to keep the pain away
Anyway, if you got through this, I commend you! I just wanted to share our story
I'm obviously new to this long distance relationship thing and hope to find some great support here. And if any of you are feeling heartache as I am, I hope that it is put to rest soon <3
<3
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