Sorry that this is ridiculously long. My SO left last night and I'm feeling sentimental....
We had both come over to Japan with our then significant others to teach English with the same company. I don't remember meeting him. Apparently he found me playing the slot machines in the back room at our local bar after I had escaped from everyone else and we chatted for a bit. Anyhow, we always bumped into each other at big social events since all the teachers at our company tended to stick together. I remember thinking we were eerily similar in a lot of ways, to the point that our significant others of the time commented that we should probably date. I thought that under other circumstances it might have happened, but since we were with other people I didn't consider it seriously.
Six months after my SO got there my ex and I had a Halloween party. Things weren't great between my ex and I by that point - I wanted to go home to Canada and he didn't. I couldn't get him to have a serious discussion about marriage, even after four years together. I was really lonely as my friends had all gone home, and the people we were hanging out with weren't very nice, tended to ignore me, and were mostly there to screw Japanese girls. My ex boyfriend didn't really seem to care about how I felt. It was always a problem that had existed - he took nothing seriously. And now that I'd had my adventure, and wanted to plan the next part of my life, one where I'd have to work hard to get a job and not just be handed one because I was white and spoke English, it was becoming a problem between us.
So anyhow, my SO showed up as Harry Potter. His girlfriend was sick and home asleep. He had tape in between his glasses, had coloured in his tie, and I remember thinking he looked cute. We somehow fell into a 3 hour conversation. It was so easy to talk to him...I remember thinking his girlfriend was lucky to have a boyfriend who actually listened to people.
After a few hours I went to the roof of my apartment to get some air. There were 20 people in 2 rooms! I was only gone 10 minutes, but when I came back my apartment was empty, lights switched off, door locked. Luckily I had my key on me but I was so hurt and upset that no one had noticed I was missing - especially my ex boyfriend - and it was my apartment, my party. I decided I'd just stay in and read, since I didn't really want to hang out with my "friends" anyways. Then there was a knock on my door and I figured it was my ex, but I was really surprised that it was my SO. He'd noticed I was missing, told my ex, and had come back to get me. My SO convinced me to come out so we cycled downtown to where everyone was, but I was still upset after 30 minutes. My SO came over, noticed I was on the verge of tears, hugged me and said he'd bicycle me back if I wanted. I remember staring at my ex who was drinking and laughing with our friends, even though I'd gone up to him and told him I was really upset. I wanted to bicycle back with just my SO since I was mad at my ex now as well, but figured my ex would just be mad the following morning if I did that so I got him and the three of us went back together.
More months went by. I ran into my SO at various things and always ended up spending the better part of an evening talking to him. Then my SO and his girlfriend abruptly announced they were leaving back to England, so we (me, my ex, him and his ex) decided we'd have one last hurrah and go for a skiing holiday together. On the train we did crossword puzzles and he let me steal his puzzle books. We were both mocked by our exes for knowing answers to crossword puzzles, but we didn't care.
I felt happy with him doing the most mundane things - playing chess, sitting next to him on a ski lift, watching him try to assemble a snowball....I tried not to think about it. One night the four of us sat around playing trivial pursuit and getting drunk off of mulled wine. While we were talking I mentioned that I hardly ever missed people, especially if I know I'll see them again. Our exes both laughed and said that was impossible. They left to get drinks. My SO grabbed me by the shoulders and said in a frantic whisper that was hilarious at the time "My God! Me too! You're just as messed up as me!" He hugged me. Again, I didn't try to think through how I was feeling about someone who wasn't my boyfriend.
My birthday came a week later. My ex left in the morning to get me my present since he'd forgotten, coming back at 5 p.m. to cook me a "birthday breakfast". (Yes, seriously). I was obviously hurt. My SO swung by my apartment with a box of chocolates and sang happy birthday. I decided then and there that I needed to break up with my ex. If there was a friend who could care about me more than my boyfriend, I needed a new boyfriend.
My SOs farewell karaoke party rolled around. It was the night before he left. I remember thinking I was ridiculously upset for what was just a friend. Then it hit me. He was leaving. Forever. I would never see this person again. Someone who had always cared for me and who was downright awesome. But what could I do? He had a girlfriend. He lived in England. I was going back to Canada. Best put it out of my mind.
So I was feeling gloomy and walking to the bathroom when an arm pulls me into an empty karaoke room. My SO is there.
"I fell a little bit in love with you on that ski trip and I would never forgive myself if I hadn't kissed you." Then he kissed me, the nicest, loveliest, briefest kiss imaginable, then walked off back to our room. I stood there completely shell shocked. Then I sat in our room completely shell shocked. Then I went home and laid awake in bed all night still shell shocked.
He left. The kiss confused me. I was mad at myself for loving something that wasn't exactly moral. But try as I might, I couldn't file that kiss as a terrible thing. It wasn't a kiss that could lead to anything for him - not sex, not a relationship. It was a kiss that was all affection The only purpose of that kiss was to show that once, in a shitty karaoke place in Japan, an Englishman had cared very much about a Canadian girl. I filed it as something strange, weird, nice, wrong and perfect that had happened in my life and tried to leave it at that.
I bought a book to get myself to stop thinking about him. Then I was sad because I couldn't find the rest of the series at the bookstore. Then three days later a huge parcel arrives at my apartment. A book of logic problems tumbles out. And the series I was reading with a note "Thought you might enjoy these" from my SO. It was eerie as hell, but again I told myself that I was being stupid, and that I should stop thinking about him.
Five months passed and I broke up with my ex boyfriend, but since I was leaving back to Canada to start school in 2 months, and since my ex had no money for a down payment on an apartment, we agreed to live together until I left. I hadn't talked to my SO in those five months, but was still thinking about him every day. It was annoying. One day we ran into each other on facebook chat, and I mentioned I was finding things hard. That I felt friendless and isolated in a country where I didn't speak the language particularly well. Since we both had Fridays off, he told me he would talk to me every Friday until I got home to Canada. Those Fridays were basically how I survived. We watched movies, played online games and just talked. He broke up with his girlfriend. I went home. I didn't know if he would end the Fridays now that I was back among my family and friends.
Then, nearly eight months after he had kissed me he told me he was still in love with me, and that he was coming to Canada to see me whether I agreed to it or not. Last week he came here and I spent ten of the happiest days of my life with him. I'm over the moon and completely shocked that the man of my dreams existed out in the world, and wanted me too.
We had both come over to Japan with our then significant others to teach English with the same company. I don't remember meeting him. Apparently he found me playing the slot machines in the back room at our local bar after I had escaped from everyone else and we chatted for a bit. Anyhow, we always bumped into each other at big social events since all the teachers at our company tended to stick together. I remember thinking we were eerily similar in a lot of ways, to the point that our significant others of the time commented that we should probably date. I thought that under other circumstances it might have happened, but since we were with other people I didn't consider it seriously.
Six months after my SO got there my ex and I had a Halloween party. Things weren't great between my ex and I by that point - I wanted to go home to Canada and he didn't. I couldn't get him to have a serious discussion about marriage, even after four years together. I was really lonely as my friends had all gone home, and the people we were hanging out with weren't very nice, tended to ignore me, and were mostly there to screw Japanese girls. My ex boyfriend didn't really seem to care about how I felt. It was always a problem that had existed - he took nothing seriously. And now that I'd had my adventure, and wanted to plan the next part of my life, one where I'd have to work hard to get a job and not just be handed one because I was white and spoke English, it was becoming a problem between us.
So anyhow, my SO showed up as Harry Potter. His girlfriend was sick and home asleep. He had tape in between his glasses, had coloured in his tie, and I remember thinking he looked cute. We somehow fell into a 3 hour conversation. It was so easy to talk to him...I remember thinking his girlfriend was lucky to have a boyfriend who actually listened to people.
After a few hours I went to the roof of my apartment to get some air. There were 20 people in 2 rooms! I was only gone 10 minutes, but when I came back my apartment was empty, lights switched off, door locked. Luckily I had my key on me but I was so hurt and upset that no one had noticed I was missing - especially my ex boyfriend - and it was my apartment, my party. I decided I'd just stay in and read, since I didn't really want to hang out with my "friends" anyways. Then there was a knock on my door and I figured it was my ex, but I was really surprised that it was my SO. He'd noticed I was missing, told my ex, and had come back to get me. My SO convinced me to come out so we cycled downtown to where everyone was, but I was still upset after 30 minutes. My SO came over, noticed I was on the verge of tears, hugged me and said he'd bicycle me back if I wanted. I remember staring at my ex who was drinking and laughing with our friends, even though I'd gone up to him and told him I was really upset. I wanted to bicycle back with just my SO since I was mad at my ex now as well, but figured my ex would just be mad the following morning if I did that so I got him and the three of us went back together.
More months went by. I ran into my SO at various things and always ended up spending the better part of an evening talking to him. Then my SO and his girlfriend abruptly announced they were leaving back to England, so we (me, my ex, him and his ex) decided we'd have one last hurrah and go for a skiing holiday together. On the train we did crossword puzzles and he let me steal his puzzle books. We were both mocked by our exes for knowing answers to crossword puzzles, but we didn't care.
I felt happy with him doing the most mundane things - playing chess, sitting next to him on a ski lift, watching him try to assemble a snowball....I tried not to think about it. One night the four of us sat around playing trivial pursuit and getting drunk off of mulled wine. While we were talking I mentioned that I hardly ever missed people, especially if I know I'll see them again. Our exes both laughed and said that was impossible. They left to get drinks. My SO grabbed me by the shoulders and said in a frantic whisper that was hilarious at the time "My God! Me too! You're just as messed up as me!" He hugged me. Again, I didn't try to think through how I was feeling about someone who wasn't my boyfriend.
My birthday came a week later. My ex left in the morning to get me my present since he'd forgotten, coming back at 5 p.m. to cook me a "birthday breakfast". (Yes, seriously). I was obviously hurt. My SO swung by my apartment with a box of chocolates and sang happy birthday. I decided then and there that I needed to break up with my ex. If there was a friend who could care about me more than my boyfriend, I needed a new boyfriend.
My SOs farewell karaoke party rolled around. It was the night before he left. I remember thinking I was ridiculously upset for what was just a friend. Then it hit me. He was leaving. Forever. I would never see this person again. Someone who had always cared for me and who was downright awesome. But what could I do? He had a girlfriend. He lived in England. I was going back to Canada. Best put it out of my mind.
So I was feeling gloomy and walking to the bathroom when an arm pulls me into an empty karaoke room. My SO is there.
"I fell a little bit in love with you on that ski trip and I would never forgive myself if I hadn't kissed you." Then he kissed me, the nicest, loveliest, briefest kiss imaginable, then walked off back to our room. I stood there completely shell shocked. Then I sat in our room completely shell shocked. Then I went home and laid awake in bed all night still shell shocked.
He left. The kiss confused me. I was mad at myself for loving something that wasn't exactly moral. But try as I might, I couldn't file that kiss as a terrible thing. It wasn't a kiss that could lead to anything for him - not sex, not a relationship. It was a kiss that was all affection The only purpose of that kiss was to show that once, in a shitty karaoke place in Japan, an Englishman had cared very much about a Canadian girl. I filed it as something strange, weird, nice, wrong and perfect that had happened in my life and tried to leave it at that.
I bought a book to get myself to stop thinking about him. Then I was sad because I couldn't find the rest of the series at the bookstore. Then three days later a huge parcel arrives at my apartment. A book of logic problems tumbles out. And the series I was reading with a note "Thought you might enjoy these" from my SO. It was eerie as hell, but again I told myself that I was being stupid, and that I should stop thinking about him.
Five months passed and I broke up with my ex boyfriend, but since I was leaving back to Canada to start school in 2 months, and since my ex had no money for a down payment on an apartment, we agreed to live together until I left. I hadn't talked to my SO in those five months, but was still thinking about him every day. It was annoying. One day we ran into each other on facebook chat, and I mentioned I was finding things hard. That I felt friendless and isolated in a country where I didn't speak the language particularly well. Since we both had Fridays off, he told me he would talk to me every Friday until I got home to Canada. Those Fridays were basically how I survived. We watched movies, played online games and just talked. He broke up with his girlfriend. I went home. I didn't know if he would end the Fridays now that I was back among my family and friends.
Then, nearly eight months after he had kissed me he told me he was still in love with me, and that he was coming to Canada to see me whether I agreed to it or not. Last week he came here and I spent ten of the happiest days of my life with him. I'm over the moon and completely shocked that the man of my dreams existed out in the world, and wanted me too.
good luck and welcome to LFAD
I love you soooo much
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