Things happen for a reason
As I approach another thirty-something birthday, I can't say that I can explain why things happen as they do. Perhaps I should turn off that logical side of my brain and just run with it and stop even trying, haha. But here is my story in as short a version as possible 
Back in March 2010 I had just about given up on men completely after dealing with two jerks in a row (and they were just the latest two in what seems to be a never ending supply that have their GPS set on only me). Not sure what made me go into that chatroom that afternoon, as I am hardly ever online then. I had an idea of what I was looking for in a man. Oh, who is kidding, I had a very specific type that I thought would be the best match for me. Very high up on that list was that they had to be within a reasonable distance from me. I wanted to be able to see the person regularly and all the good stuff that goes along with a non-LDR. Boy, was I turned on my butt by what I found...everything I wasn't looking for, yet everything I really need. In the chat I see someone my age say they in the service and live a good four hours away. As I always do, I IMed them to thank them for their service with no intention of it being anymore than that. Well, a good eight hours later, we were still talking until the wee hours. There was a phone chat in there, too. It was just so easy talking to him, like we'd known each other for a long time and were just these kindred spirits. Talk about being caught off guard! Hours away, military, etc. Since then we'd spent hours talking online and on the phone. He was never able to promise when we could meet or even if we could because with his job and the possibility of another deployment, it was hard. I understood and I didn't. I had no experience dealing with military and all of my friends kept telling me he was giving me a line, etc. But, my heart kept telling me to believe him...what we had together, even if it wasn't yet in person, was better than what I have ever had with guys I've dated for a long time. You can't fake that. I had his phone number and address and other personal info that if he was hiding something would have made it difficult.
As my feelings grew for him, it became so hard to not be able to see him and see if this could be taken to the next level. He has his own set of complications that played into why he wasn't in the right place to go to that level and I understood that, but it was still hurting me. Around this time I met this other guy who was offering me everything my LDR wasn't (let me clarify that he and I had a "no promises" type of deal that allowed for this to happen on either side, so I wasn't cheating). I told my LDR and he said he knew that would eventually happen and he was happy this guy could give me what I wanted and deserved, etc. He was so good about it, but I felt like I was losing my best friend. Even as I type this almost a year later, I am starting to cry. So, I went with this other relationship and kept in contact with my friend, even though it wasn't nearly as often anymore. I should have been stronger because the other guy ended up really treating me badly. After he broke up with me (via text message mind you...long story), the only person I wanted to talk to was my friend and you know what? He was there for me. No matter how many times I called him that day or how late (and he really needs to get to bed early medically), he was there and he even called me the next morning to make sure I got my butt out of bed for work. He was furious about how this other guy treated me and was really the only person who could make me feel better about the whole situation...the only one who I could talk to and not break down into tears (and yet he was the only one who I wouldn't have minded hearing me cry).
That was this past April and ever since then, he and I are back together...better than ever, and as if there was never a break between us. And the relationship is different, more committed on his part. It's just me and him and that's how it is. He's making progress in moving towards being more emotionally open and wanting, and feeling he deserves, a good woman, etc. Still no plans to meet because of his job (no longer active duty, but another military related gig), but I'll wait. I really feel that things happen for a reason. There was a reason we were in the same room and connected like we did. There was a reason that the loser got a chance and blew it. There is something between me and my guy that you can't describe. And people still don't understand it and don't consider it a relationship at all, but we do. It's perfect for us and I have every faith that it will keep developing perfectly...all you need is time and patience.
Back in March 2010 I had just about given up on men completely after dealing with two jerks in a row (and they were just the latest two in what seems to be a never ending supply that have their GPS set on only me). Not sure what made me go into that chatroom that afternoon, as I am hardly ever online then. I had an idea of what I was looking for in a man. Oh, who is kidding, I had a very specific type that I thought would be the best match for me. Very high up on that list was that they had to be within a reasonable distance from me. I wanted to be able to see the person regularly and all the good stuff that goes along with a non-LDR. Boy, was I turned on my butt by what I found...everything I wasn't looking for, yet everything I really need. In the chat I see someone my age say they in the service and live a good four hours away. As I always do, I IMed them to thank them for their service with no intention of it being anymore than that. Well, a good eight hours later, we were still talking until the wee hours. There was a phone chat in there, too. It was just so easy talking to him, like we'd known each other for a long time and were just these kindred spirits. Talk about being caught off guard! Hours away, military, etc. Since then we'd spent hours talking online and on the phone. He was never able to promise when we could meet or even if we could because with his job and the possibility of another deployment, it was hard. I understood and I didn't. I had no experience dealing with military and all of my friends kept telling me he was giving me a line, etc. But, my heart kept telling me to believe him...what we had together, even if it wasn't yet in person, was better than what I have ever had with guys I've dated for a long time. You can't fake that. I had his phone number and address and other personal info that if he was hiding something would have made it difficult.
As my feelings grew for him, it became so hard to not be able to see him and see if this could be taken to the next level. He has his own set of complications that played into why he wasn't in the right place to go to that level and I understood that, but it was still hurting me. Around this time I met this other guy who was offering me everything my LDR wasn't (let me clarify that he and I had a "no promises" type of deal that allowed for this to happen on either side, so I wasn't cheating). I told my LDR and he said he knew that would eventually happen and he was happy this guy could give me what I wanted and deserved, etc. He was so good about it, but I felt like I was losing my best friend. Even as I type this almost a year later, I am starting to cry. So, I went with this other relationship and kept in contact with my friend, even though it wasn't nearly as often anymore. I should have been stronger because the other guy ended up really treating me badly. After he broke up with me (via text message mind you...long story), the only person I wanted to talk to was my friend and you know what? He was there for me. No matter how many times I called him that day or how late (and he really needs to get to bed early medically), he was there and he even called me the next morning to make sure I got my butt out of bed for work. He was furious about how this other guy treated me and was really the only person who could make me feel better about the whole situation...the only one who I could talk to and not break down into tears (and yet he was the only one who I wouldn't have minded hearing me cry).
That was this past April and ever since then, he and I are back together...better than ever, and as if there was never a break between us. And the relationship is different, more committed on his part. It's just me and him and that's how it is. He's making progress in moving towards being more emotionally open and wanting, and feeling he deserves, a good woman, etc. Still no plans to meet because of his job (no longer active duty, but another military related gig), but I'll wait. I really feel that things happen for a reason. There was a reason we were in the same room and connected like we did. There was a reason that the loser got a chance and blew it. There is something between me and my guy that you can't describe. And people still don't understand it and don't consider it a relationship at all, but we do. It's perfect for us and I have every faith that it will keep developing perfectly...all you need is time and patience.