Let me just say this is the hardest thing I've ever done. Ian and I met online, in a support group, we spoke for a while as friends only because at that time I was "seeing" someone else. He would try to get me to leave the other guy but I believe in working hard at something. So I wouldn't give up though the other guy suffered from anxiety and PTSD. When he quit his job one time too many without talking to me about it I decided I had to call it quits. I have a little girl, two years old so I can't afford to make a mistake in my life right now. We had only been dating a few months. Since I was free, I decided to give Ian a chance. The guy was persistent after all and we both have common issues that make certain thing understandable for us.This was the week before Mother's Day so we have been speaking almost two months now. I was skeptical at first for he's older but I started falling hard. I'm shy and he got me to open up to him. Because of my status as teacher of French and Spanish, I have lots of pen pals from across the world. I've never been bold enough to talk to any online. Now Ian and i video chat every single day and if he takes too long to call, I start wondering. He is in England and I am in Jamaica so the time difference is by six hours. It's aggravating when he's asleep and I'm awake. We are still in the honeymoon phase.
Our days are basically filled with talking to each other outside our work and social life. But it has not been easy. We have our challenges. He's very jealous, I hope it's because of the distance but he always enquires where I am and with whom and sometimes he calls to actually verify I am where I am. I was to visit the U.S this summer vacation but he objected. We have started my visa process for me to visit him in England and his family. Everything is taken care of except the invitation he should send me. He keeps putting it off. I think he is doing it deliberately so by the time we are finished with the procedure if I am denied the visitors visa for UK, it would be too late to by a ticket for Florida.
He's supposed to be visiting me in July (I'm so excited). He will spend a week and afterwards if all goes well I will spend three weeks with him in his country. I'm not sure how long we can do long distance lol. It's frustrating as hell. Sometimes I want to cry like I wish he was here but he's not. Wish I wasn't going to bed alone. Our whole dream is working on being in the same country because we argue over silly things out of frustration. We argue about who hung up first, the invitation letter, him "forbidding" me to go to the U.S. he actually states if I go to Florida, he would be booking a flight there as well as soon as he gets back from Thailand.
He's a great guy and interacts with my daughter well. He asks about her, buys her chocolate and makes me feel like he understands we are a package and he can't want the mom without the daughter. I'm hoping when we meet he won't be as jealous because he will see that I don't really go anywhere, party or anything. Well wish me luck. Today he promised to send the invitation letter this weekend. Let's wait and see.
Our days are basically filled with talking to each other outside our work and social life. But it has not been easy. We have our challenges. He's very jealous, I hope it's because of the distance but he always enquires where I am and with whom and sometimes he calls to actually verify I am where I am. I was to visit the U.S this summer vacation but he objected. We have started my visa process for me to visit him in England and his family. Everything is taken care of except the invitation he should send me. He keeps putting it off. I think he is doing it deliberately so by the time we are finished with the procedure if I am denied the visitors visa for UK, it would be too late to by a ticket for Florida.
He's supposed to be visiting me in July (I'm so excited). He will spend a week and afterwards if all goes well I will spend three weeks with him in his country. I'm not sure how long we can do long distance lol. It's frustrating as hell. Sometimes I want to cry like I wish he was here but he's not. Wish I wasn't going to bed alone. Our whole dream is working on being in the same country because we argue over silly things out of frustration. We argue about who hung up first, the invitation letter, him "forbidding" me to go to the U.S. he actually states if I go to Florida, he would be booking a flight there as well as soon as he gets back from Thailand.
He's a great guy and interacts with my daughter well. He asks about her, buys her chocolate and makes me feel like he understands we are a package and he can't want the mom without the daughter. I'm hoping when we meet he won't be as jealous because he will see that I don't really go anywhere, party or anything. Well wish me luck. Today he promised to send the invitation letter this weekend. Let's wait and see.