Hello there everyone~
Soo... its been exactely a month now and guess what... im still hurting as much as i did the moment my dream was over... its a lot of text so thanks for reading xD
We broke up not because we didnt love eachother or anything else but the distance and... tbh i SO F***** HATE IT... i still feel like he is my soulmate, we connect so deeply and match at everypoint except food choices and religion but i can live with that since we both respected and accepted that... i feel like ill never get to know someone who matched at 99% with me, as in values, preferences for dates or chill time, movie tastes or music, kinds of animals and cars and the kind of intimacy... it just makes me all so sad i had to give up someone like that for distance and it wasnt even that much... if i read topics here it could be so much more.. i thought i could make it work, that we (no offence) could be a lucky person who could do it together with our unending love... i was so wrong...
The days after we had contact but it was really forced... we just didnt want to let go... he told me he regretted the decision plus that he felt it was okay to hurt so deeply, it was his punishment for making me cry... thinking back of that still hurts me, and we havent been talking for 2.5 weeks yet it feels like a month or more. I find myself thinking about him every second my mind isnt occupated aka, when i read a book or watch series... even when im with friends i still think about him all the time.
Im thinking maybe we gave up too easily.. there wouldve been a long summervacation with a lot of visits but on the other hand there are 4 or more years of studying ahead which wouldve made it even harder to visit... im regretting it and right now, a month later i could exactely tell my past self what to do, how to react and what not to do because, "then everything wouldve worked out fine" im feeling silly and terrible and its ruining my mood and vacation but i cant help it. I keep dreaming about him coming back or coming here to ask me out again or anything... everynight im making memories and then wake up completely emotionally sad because it was just a dream...
Im wondering if he thinks about me that often aswell... or maybe he moved on which i clearly failed to do...
So yeah... what should i do... im at a loss and breaking down a bit it seems just to get worse instead of better and regret is eating me. So tell me anything to smile... :/
Soo... its been exactely a month now and guess what... im still hurting as much as i did the moment my dream was over... its a lot of text so thanks for reading xD
We broke up not because we didnt love eachother or anything else but the distance and... tbh i SO F***** HATE IT... i still feel like he is my soulmate, we connect so deeply and match at everypoint except food choices and religion but i can live with that since we both respected and accepted that... i feel like ill never get to know someone who matched at 99% with me, as in values, preferences for dates or chill time, movie tastes or music, kinds of animals and cars and the kind of intimacy... it just makes me all so sad i had to give up someone like that for distance and it wasnt even that much... if i read topics here it could be so much more.. i thought i could make it work, that we (no offence) could be a lucky person who could do it together with our unending love... i was so wrong...
The days after we had contact but it was really forced... we just didnt want to let go... he told me he regretted the decision plus that he felt it was okay to hurt so deeply, it was his punishment for making me cry... thinking back of that still hurts me, and we havent been talking for 2.5 weeks yet it feels like a month or more. I find myself thinking about him every second my mind isnt occupated aka, when i read a book or watch series... even when im with friends i still think about him all the time.
Im thinking maybe we gave up too easily.. there wouldve been a long summervacation with a lot of visits but on the other hand there are 4 or more years of studying ahead which wouldve made it even harder to visit... im regretting it and right now, a month later i could exactely tell my past self what to do, how to react and what not to do because, "then everything wouldve worked out fine" im feeling silly and terrible and its ruining my mood and vacation but i cant help it. I keep dreaming about him coming back or coming here to ask me out again or anything... everynight im making memories and then wake up completely emotionally sad because it was just a dream...
Im wondering if he thinks about me that often aswell... or maybe he moved on which i clearly failed to do...
So yeah... what should i do... im at a loss and breaking down a bit it seems just to get worse instead of better and regret is eating me. So tell me anything to smile... :/