Is it love?

[Alexaa]

The way you describe how you feel about your relationship reminds me a lot of how I felt for my ex. In the end, only you can decide what to do, but there are clear signs that you shouldn't ignore. Deep down it feels like you already know your answer and I would suggest that you talk to your partner and not be afraid to voice your feelings, don't let his reaction discourage you. It doesn't mean you will be breaking up but maybe you two need to clear things, especially since you're being pushed to do things (which is a big no-no) and at least, a break in your relationship would allow you to better see the things without him smothering you.

I agree and would say you should take a break, go into yourself and think about everything. Good luck!

[Karura]

The way you describe how you feel about your relationship reminds me a lot of how I felt for my ex. In the end, only you can decide what to do, but there are clear signs that you shouldn't ignore. Deep down it feels like you already know your answer and I would suggest that you talk to your partner and not be afraid to voice your feelings, don't let his reaction discourage you. It doesn't mean you will be breaking up but maybe you two need to clear things, especially since you're being pushed to do things (which is a big no-no) and at least, a break in your relationship would allow you to better see the things without him smothering you.

[kittyo9]

"OP"?

Thank you for your inputs all of you..

The other thing I have noticed is that whenever he text me i dont feel the same excitement like I used to, I don't have the feeling of wanting to text him back instantly, but often wait a bit.

Often whenever im not in the mood I feel like he is often pushing it asking me to do other things while still being on cam for him.

This whole thing is just confusing me so badly to the point where I'm not sure what I should do. :/

"OP" is short for "Original Poster", referring to the person who posted the thread (in this case, you).

Your relationship sounds very one-sided to me. I know that I would probably be as confused as you are in your position, but as a third (and neutral) party, I would suggest maybe asking to take a break from the relationship, or just asking for a week or two of space. Lay down rules about contact (maybe no contact at all) and do your own thing. In all reality, it would probably mean the end of the relationship, but it would give you the space and time you need to sort out your feelings.

Your comment about him trying to get you to do things on cam for him-- even if they are small things!-- is very concerning, as has been pointed out by the others. This is something that, when taken with the other things you have talked about, makes me really think you should not allow him to keep you tied up in this relationship. Where is the respect for you?

[Rezie]

Yep it is like that.. I know This is not the exact place to talk about it.. but it is s..e..x.. that can Mean just laying there while he is watching without really doing much.. This just ends up making me feel like he is pushing it by asking me to lay down, just do tiny things for him.. even after I told him im not in the mood.

I feel like there are a lot of things going on. Getting bored and doubting if you are in love with your partner when you know you can't close the distance for another 4+ years. That is normal. Him pushing you to have sex when you say no. Never OK. Him being jealous and wanting to go everywhere with you in game world. Not OK. Him feeling you are not together if you are not online together 24/7. Not ok, but workable. You breaking up with him and him convincing you to come back. Not OK, but something you should work on. Altogether I think the actual problem is that your partner is controlling, assultative, manipulative and altogether not a very nice person. You deserve better.

[sasad]

Yep it is like that.. I know This is not the exact place to talk about it.. but it is s..e..x.. that can Mean just laying there while he is watching without really doing much.. This just ends up making me feel like he is pushing it by asking me to lay down, just do tiny things for him.. even after I told him im not in the mood.

Oh HELL no. That just pisses me off.. Don't EVER EVER do anything you are not comfortable enough. If he respected you he would take NO for an answer. That and the way he wont allow you to play games alone etc, really bothers me... I am sorry, but he needs to back off and respect you.
Damn, I am all fired up now.

[Laika]

Yep it is like that.. I know This is not the exact place to talk about it.. but it is s..e..x.. that can Mean just laying there while he is watching without really doing much.. This just ends up making me feel like he is pushing it by asking me to lay down, just do tiny things for him.. even after I told him im not in the mood.

[sasad]

"OP"?

Thank you for your inputs all of you..

The other thing I have noticed is that whenever he text me i dont feel the same excitement like I used to, I don't have the feeling of wanting to text him back instantly, but often wait a bit.

Often whenever im not in the mood I feel like he is often pushing it asking me to do other things while still being on cam for him.

This whole thing is just confusing me so badly to the point where I'm not sure what I should do. :/

When he pushes you... do you mean like s.e.x? stuff???

[Chris516]

"OP"?

Thank you for your inputs all of you..

The other thing I have noticed is that whenever he text me i dont feel the same excitement like I used to, I don't have the feeling of wanting to text him back instantly, but often wait a bit.

Often whenever im not in the mood I feel like he is often pushing it asking me to do other things while still being on cam for him.

This whole thing is just confusing me so badly to the point where I'm not sure what I should do. :/

Pushing you to do things like?

[Laika]

Sasad, you are probably right about the things you say since i do feel like I'm not getting any space..
He feel like he has to do everything With me or it feels like we Arent really together..

He wouldnt exactly get mad if i made a New char, but he would want to either watch me through teamviewer or help me out with one of his high lvl'd char.

[Laika]

"OP"?

Thank you for your inputs all of you..

The other thing I have noticed is that whenever he text me i dont feel the same excitement like I used to, I don't have the feeling of wanting to text him back instantly, but often wait a bit.

Often whenever im not in the mood I feel like he is often pushing it asking me to do other things while still being on cam for him.

This whole thing is just confusing me so badly to the point where I'm not sure what I should do. :/

[sasad]

If it feels like it is too much, then it probably is. YOU know what you feel inside. We don't.
I do suggest you take a couple of steps backwards and look at your relationship and try to understand why you feel the way you do.
To me, he is a little smothering. There really is such a thing as to much togetherness.
You need to set boundaries. What is ok and what isn't ok for you to do. Why do you have to do all the guild stuff with him? What happens if you don't?? Or even tell him you are creating a separate character you can play on your own. If he gets mad and refuses to "allow" that, then there are other concerning issues in play here.

You are extremely frustrated.. maybe the not cam-ing is a way that you are indirectly telling him to back off. Again, you need to communicate this to him. See where it goes. make YOU time.

[erwin1973]

We actually just spent time together 2 weeks ago irl, I just found myself to not always be in the mood there either.. We did have a good time and the goodbye Was emotional for both of us.

Reread this, OP.
I think that is more important then focussing on the LD part of the LDR.

[differentcountries]

I find that as time goes by - we have dated beyond 3,5 years now and know we cant close the distance in at least a few years - we are usually not that interested in cam'ing. We deal with things better through texting and the occational phone call. We used to Skype a lot earlier but the thing is that we are both often very busy, and then having to Skype every night and trying to be "happy" with each other did not work very well for us as the years went by. Texting at night resemble a lot more how daily life feels when we are together on a visit. Then we dont neccesarily talk a whole lot either, but we are together pysically and give each other attention. Every couple have their method and one is not better than the other.

You are perfectly entitled to play games that he is not in, and really have your own individual life. It may be easier if you are not in the exacty game together (a lot of people struggle with social media for the same reason).

I sometimes wonder if I love-love him. I dont have a lot of strong emotions on a day to day basis. I realize that the reason for this is that I am surpressing my emotions so they dont overwealm me. When I visit him, or if I see a picture of him, I feel the same way as I used to.

Maybe you can talk to him about getting space, then you will find out if you feel you start to long for him or if you want to withdraw even more.


"We actually just spent time together 2 weeks ago irl, I just found myself to not always be in the mood there either.. We did have a good time and the goodbye Was emotional for both of us. We are only going to be able to close the distance in about 4 years min.. it will most Likely take a bit longer because of education and the fact that he have not been able to save up money for our future yet.. its hard to find a part time job there and then he got uni aswell.. We would plan on closing it one day.. but it just seems really far away.. I find myself sometimes being more happy talking to other people than him.I don't feel like I can't handle the LDR Anymore.. We usually meet every 6 month.. sometimes, its mostly during the summer, winter and the christmas."
You seem resentful about the distance, but the most important thing here is weather of not it is the distance of HIM.
The distance rubs me the wrong way a lot, but I know it is not something my SO did, to the contrary he is constantly changing his life in the ways I asked and that we agreed upon. We are both doing what we can and I cant ask for more than that. We sometimes distance ourselves from each other, but we have talked about this and we are comfortable knowing that this is what happens. If you feel your SO is not doing his part, that is one thing, if not there might be more than the distance at stake here.

[Rezie]

Additional 4 years is very long time in addition to 4 years. In that time people grow and in LDR it is easily to different directions since you are not in each others life physically. You just have to evaluate if you can wait 4 years to find put if it's the relationship or just the distance.

[Honour]

Sometimes you can't help it but you can grow extremely apathetic and subconsciously "move on" from your partner without even meaning to. It would be unfair to you and on him to maintain a loveless relationship, LD or CD. But at the end of the day, only you can decide whether you've fallen out of love with him.