Hey all,
I’m new to the group and so happy to be here. My boyfriend and I dated a year before moving to separate states. I moved for vet school, and he moved for grad school. We used to see each other everyday and he truly is my best friend. We have been in an LDR for 3 months now, and it was easy at first, but as we both begin to adjust to our separate lives and schedules, I find we are arguing more. We see each other monthly.
I have a demanding schedule and spend a lot of time studying, which he can’t relate to. At times it feels like he doesn’t respect my field of study because he says things like “there’s no reason to study that much” “it’s not worth it to me” and at one point, compared me to
His ex that was smart enough to not study as hard in vet school.
This may make him sound like an bad guy, but in our relationship he has always been my rock and support when dealing with anxiety, which confuses me as to why he would turn cold. In one argument, he said he felt I was dumbing his field down, despite my attempts to get to talk about it. I know I’m busier and have fit in better than he has to my new place, which may be making him sour.
After our last fight he asked me if I thought our LDR was worth it, and now I’m unsure. I feel guilty because calling him everyday feels like an obligation when I know I should be studying instead. I also don’t want to compromise my life to follow him after graduation. Our mutual extracurriculars are limited, which was fine when we were broke in college, but it makes me doubtful of the future. Our political differences are becoming more apparent, which also puts doubts in my mind.
I just feel like I’m trying harder than he is in this relationship, but can’t mention that without another argument. I know it’s normal to have ups and downs, but I just don’t know and I’m scared that the ups will not be worth it. Are these normal feelings, or should I consider the ending of our relationship?
I’m new to the group and so happy to be here. My boyfriend and I dated a year before moving to separate states. I moved for vet school, and he moved for grad school. We used to see each other everyday and he truly is my best friend. We have been in an LDR for 3 months now, and it was easy at first, but as we both begin to adjust to our separate lives and schedules, I find we are arguing more. We see each other monthly.
I have a demanding schedule and spend a lot of time studying, which he can’t relate to. At times it feels like he doesn’t respect my field of study because he says things like “there’s no reason to study that much” “it’s not worth it to me” and at one point, compared me to
His ex that was smart enough to not study as hard in vet school.
This may make him sound like an bad guy, but in our relationship he has always been my rock and support when dealing with anxiety, which confuses me as to why he would turn cold. In one argument, he said he felt I was dumbing his field down, despite my attempts to get to talk about it. I know I’m busier and have fit in better than he has to my new place, which may be making him sour.
After our last fight he asked me if I thought our LDR was worth it, and now I’m unsure. I feel guilty because calling him everyday feels like an obligation when I know I should be studying instead. I also don’t want to compromise my life to follow him after graduation. Our mutual extracurriculars are limited, which was fine when we were broke in college, but it makes me doubtful of the future. Our political differences are becoming more apparent, which also puts doubts in my mind.
I just feel like I’m trying harder than he is in this relationship, but can’t mention that without another argument. I know it’s normal to have ups and downs, but I just don’t know and I’m scared that the ups will not be worth it. Are these normal feelings, or should I consider the ending of our relationship?