First time posting, bear with me.
I have now been in a LDR for over 3 years. Weve known each other since Jr.
high. Spent some time together in our mid 20's and then made contact again on social media about 8 years ago. Just as friends as she was happily married and I was divorced. Several years passed and she ended up divorced. She eventually reached out to me. She lived a 1000 plus miles away.
We started talking on the phone, then used messenger and texting. Then facetime. We grew to know each other well. To the point wear we both looked forward to our next conversation.
She has family in my area and was planning on traveling here with here daughters. I was invited to spend a day with her and her family while they were all here.
She also made it clear she wanted to stay with me over night one of the nights while she was in town.
Needless to say we hit it off.
I cant explain to you how well it went.
She left and we both knew we had something serious ❤. We started talking about future dates when we could see each other.
She invited me to Thanksgiving. Which was a couple months out. That's when I became very reluctant to continue. We lived so far apart and I knew the difficulties we would face.
One of the hardest things I ever have done was to tell her we needed to stop seeing each other. I felt the distance was to much to overcome.
She was rightfully hurt and wanted to try but I reluctantly said no.
A couple of days later I received an email from her. She told me she truly believed our paths had come together for a reason. She told me within 18 months her oldest daughter would graduate and her younger daughter would love to move to my location.
We both have children the same age . She was not bound by shared custody as her ex left the area. I was however tied to my location as I shared custody of my sons.
After reading her letter and counting her attributes and my blessing. I realize that I was blessed to have this woman in my life.
18 months passed. I had primarily traveled to her location as she was a single parent and only had limited support to watch her girls when she traveled
During the 18 months time she made it clear that she did not want to live in the town I lived in. She felt the schools athletics were inadequate for her daughter talents.
She wanted to look for a place within a out 45 minutes from me. Not perfect but close enough to spend half the week and weekends together.
Circumstances arrived. She receives child support and spousal support. While also working. She seemed serious about moving and came her to look. She had set money back to move. It was about this time her ex left his job and went to another . So all support was gone. Then because of one thing after another she had to use the money she saved for moving to just survive. I was in a limited position to help as I maintained my household with my sons.
I offered my home and we would make sure her daughter was taken care of.
She didnt want that.
Fast forward.
Its been 3 years now and it sounds like her daughter wants to stay where they are. Which means another 3 years apart.
She even said to me that I had made no sacrifice but was asking her to. I told her I had put my sons second and her first. I had spent most of my vacation time and lots of money traveling to her to spend time together instead of vacationing with my sons. I have done plenty locally with my boys. I love them without end but was raised to put God first then your spouse then your children.
She has not done the same. She recently told me that she didnt want to rush to me based on her own needs and jeopardize ruining her daughter's opportunities.
This is what leads me here today. I love her daughter's and when we first started envisioned us as a family. I felt it would be good for my sons and her daughters to see there parents in love and existing as a loving couple.
I love her deeply but it is becoming more difficult to cope with. We had a heated talks about so many things are passing us by that we should be doing as a couple. She agrees but puts her daughter first.
We have many great memories doing things but it's been mainly with her and her daughters. She has made more effort to come here but she talks about being limited financially but still there is always enough money for travel ball trips.
I guess I am looking for advice reassurance and someone to talk with. I have always keep these feeling between the two of us. My heart is aching. I've been trying hard to keep my mind occupied and distracted.
If you were wondering about "Rubberband" a rubber band will stretch and stretch to accommodate but eventually it will break.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
I have now been in a LDR for over 3 years. Weve known each other since Jr.
high. Spent some time together in our mid 20's and then made contact again on social media about 8 years ago. Just as friends as she was happily married and I was divorced. Several years passed and she ended up divorced. She eventually reached out to me. She lived a 1000 plus miles away.
We started talking on the phone, then used messenger and texting. Then facetime. We grew to know each other well. To the point wear we both looked forward to our next conversation.
She has family in my area and was planning on traveling here with here daughters. I was invited to spend a day with her and her family while they were all here.
She also made it clear she wanted to stay with me over night one of the nights while she was in town.
Needless to say we hit it off.
I cant explain to you how well it went.
She left and we both knew we had something serious ❤. We started talking about future dates when we could see each other.
She invited me to Thanksgiving. Which was a couple months out. That's when I became very reluctant to continue. We lived so far apart and I knew the difficulties we would face.
One of the hardest things I ever have done was to tell her we needed to stop seeing each other. I felt the distance was to much to overcome.
She was rightfully hurt and wanted to try but I reluctantly said no.
A couple of days later I received an email from her. She told me she truly believed our paths had come together for a reason. She told me within 18 months her oldest daughter would graduate and her younger daughter would love to move to my location.
We both have children the same age . She was not bound by shared custody as her ex left the area. I was however tied to my location as I shared custody of my sons.
After reading her letter and counting her attributes and my blessing. I realize that I was blessed to have this woman in my life.
18 months passed. I had primarily traveled to her location as she was a single parent and only had limited support to watch her girls when she traveled
During the 18 months time she made it clear that she did not want to live in the town I lived in. She felt the schools athletics were inadequate for her daughter talents.
She wanted to look for a place within a out 45 minutes from me. Not perfect but close enough to spend half the week and weekends together.
Circumstances arrived. She receives child support and spousal support. While also working. She seemed serious about moving and came her to look. She had set money back to move. It was about this time her ex left his job and went to another . So all support was gone. Then because of one thing after another she had to use the money she saved for moving to just survive. I was in a limited position to help as I maintained my household with my sons.
I offered my home and we would make sure her daughter was taken care of.
She didnt want that.
Fast forward.
Its been 3 years now and it sounds like her daughter wants to stay where they are. Which means another 3 years apart.
She even said to me that I had made no sacrifice but was asking her to. I told her I had put my sons second and her first. I had spent most of my vacation time and lots of money traveling to her to spend time together instead of vacationing with my sons. I have done plenty locally with my boys. I love them without end but was raised to put God first then your spouse then your children.
She has not done the same. She recently told me that she didnt want to rush to me based on her own needs and jeopardize ruining her daughter's opportunities.
This is what leads me here today. I love her daughter's and when we first started envisioned us as a family. I felt it would be good for my sons and her daughters to see there parents in love and existing as a loving couple.
I love her deeply but it is becoming more difficult to cope with. We had a heated talks about so many things are passing us by that we should be doing as a couple. She agrees but puts her daughter first.
We have many great memories doing things but it's been mainly with her and her daughters. She has made more effort to come here but she talks about being limited financially but still there is always enough money for travel ball trips.
I guess I am looking for advice reassurance and someone to talk with. I have always keep these feeling between the two of us. My heart is aching. I've been trying hard to keep my mind occupied and distracted.
If you were wondering about "Rubberband" a rubber band will stretch and stretch to accommodate but eventually it will break.
Thank you for taking the time to read this.