done or continue

[Valk the resurrected]

It's a brand new, just a four month relationship. I believe that we love each other, at least she says that she has never felt this way, in her entire life.

However, I do not feel peaceful. I never do. It's just about her, I almost have never had felt peaceful about a topic that includes her. I feel anxious for a long time, that I did not even notice the way I felt until she said "Valk, we are together for 4 months and you have felt anxious for 3.5 months because of it".

It's her past relationship, online friendships, the clothes she'd like to buy, the messages arrive to her Instagram DMs... (yeah, I got her account on her desire)

I was so obsessed about her past relationship recently, that I needed to take a two days break. Today, we had a phone call and I felt too much worse than I felt during the following two days so I said that I need two days more.

I am a guy who is like "you should love your freedom than you love me", I even claim that I NEVER have the right to decide who will she meet, what will she dress and such. I have been so anxious, that she made me have pressure on her life so I can feel better totally on her desire. The thing is, having a pressure on her life is completely against my personality.

I am currently solving the obsessions I have about her past, which I don't even want to give details. However I am worried that when I solve this out, I'll just feel anxious about her friends, her dressing and when I solve this out, I'll be anxious about her leaving me.

It's like there is a sea, and whenever I solve a problem of me -giving a high cost-, I vaporize only a bottle of water. But what if... The sea itself goes away? Maybe it's just my personality, that is not qualified to have a distanced relationship, even a romantic one?

I don't want to see long comments to be honest, I just need a realistic opinion since I have lost my realistic part 4 months ago. Just tell me, done, or continue?

[vivid_idea]

Hi Valk,

Long distance relationships need a LOT of trust to survive. It sounds to me that you are struggling with many trust issues. You have to decide for yourself if you believe that your relationship with this woman is worth pursuing. If you decide that it is, you will have to face your insecurities and fears head on, and be willing to grow and evolve in your relationship.

Long distance relationships test you in many extreme ways, but many of us here would say they are 100% worth it. In saying that, they are not for everyone.

All the best to you!

[OhioJim]

A long distance relationship needs open and honest communication. Far more than a near-by relationship.

My suggestion is to openly and honestly discuss your feelings with her. If you are meant to be together then she will understand and help you work on your problems.

There have been many posts on here with problems like yours. One common theme that appears in all of them is that the person has fear and worry about what might, or might not, happen. But being afraid and worrying will not get you anywhere. Believe me when I say that the fear and worry is far worse than anything else. Be open and honest with her. Tell her what you are feeling. Don't be afraid. If it doesn't work out then at least you will know. If it does work out and she helps you through this, then you will be that much farther ahead in establishing a solid long-lasting bond with her.