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long distance fight... then extreme cold shoulder!

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    long distance fight... then extreme cold shoulder!

    i've met this guy a year ago over the internet... and we talked for 10 months... he lives by sacramento, and i live in los angeles. we even got into a point of giving the whole thing up twice...

    once was when i wanted to give it up because i didn't see much effort from him to go here to see me and he got mad. he didn't talk to me for a month. the second one was when i went up to go to san francisco, where he used to work, with my friends and i we talked about seeing each other. he agreed but he stood me up. i was so mad at him. but again, we didn't talk for a month and he ended up communicating with me again.

    a month ago, i gave him an ultimatum: come down to los angeles and see me or let's not talk to each other anymore. ever. so he came down, drove down here over the holiday weekend (which means more traffic!!!), he came to see me and had the most amazing day ever. we knew we had that connection. that chemistry. it was just the point of physical attraction to seal the deal of what we have. so we decided not to see other people. he's not gonna see other girls, and i'm not gonna see other guys. that's it. no labels of boyfriend or girlfriend or in a relationship status kind of thing. but i did took off my single status relationship on facebook, but left it empty.

    so we've been calling and texting each other on the phone everyday after that day we met. we even talked about meeting up again soon before he leaves for another country to be there for a month. he makes me smile with each text and each phone call and makes sure that i have the most amazing day.

    now here's the problem:
    his phone broke the other day. so that was the only thing that was keeping us connected. no skype not even facebook even though we're friends over there. it was okay with me that we couldn't talk for a few days. but i had to talk to him to find out if the plan of him coming back and visit me here is still going to happen. because my boss wanted me to work on the days that he was supposed to be here. i emailed him since his phone broke if he was still coming, but i didnt get any answer. two days and i didnt get any answer. i finally told him through email that it was really hard for me that we're not talking since it's a long distance relationship.

    then i saw him that he was online facebook, and i'm like: wait a second... he's online on facebook... how come he doesnt respond to my email? i had to know if he's coming so i can tell my boss if i was working or not. with no response, i went out of my mind and put my relationship status on facebook to single. 5 mins later, he saw it and got really mad. emailing and sending me messages on facebook saying that i was already single and didn't even consult him. that just because of no communication for 3 days, i was already single. i know it was my fault and what i did was completely stupid. but i guess, unconsciously, it was the only way to get his attention.

    i apologized and told him it was stupid of me to have done that. he was mad and he said he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, like the previous 2 big fights that we've had before.

    it's been a week since we've had that fight. i sent him an email the day after telling him that i was sorry and i miss him and i still want to see him before he leaves. still no response. then i sent him this email just now:

    Hi ____.

    I want to say I'm sorry for hurting you. There are no explanations for what I did. It was stupid, I wasn't thinking and I apologize. You didn't deserve that. You have been so good to me and for me to do that to you was wrong.

    After all what happened, I don't want to give up on what we have. I think we've been through so much to give it all up. You mean so much to me that I would still fight for that happiness we're trying to have with each other.

    I understand that you were hurt from what i did to you. So if you can't forgive me and don't want to be with me anymore, I understand. I don't want to force myself into something that doesn't want me back. I don't want to force myself with someone who's not happy with me.

    You're a beautiful person, ___, inside and out. You've been so good to me and I was fortunate to have you part of my life. I pray to God that because of your kindness, that you will have the love and happiness that you truly deserve.

    I miss you. I've been missing you everyday since I last saw you. I am going to miss you so much. And I hope everything works out for you because you truly deserve the good things in life. And I never thank you enough for being one of the good things in mine.


    i dont know what to do. i know this is to early to say but i realize that i love him. he was the only guy who made me genuinely happy. i even have some gifts for him before the fight, thinking i would give it to him when he comes visit.

    dilemnas:
    1) should i still send the gifts to him?
    2) should i call him or text him?
    3) should i even go drive up there and fix this in person?

    some of you who may read this "novel" (sorry...) may think that it's not worth to keep or just keep him waiting again... but i love him... i've kissed so many frogs and i'm tired of that because i have finally found my prince... we've been through so much to give this all up... and whatever short temper he had over the fight or shortcomings he have... he's still one of the best things that happened in my life and I thank God each day to have found such a person and I am fortunate enough to have loved him... I also pray to God that if it's not His will... then let the guy that I love have the love and happiness he truly deserves...

    thanks and i wish all of your long distance relationship be blessed and be full of love and happiness
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