Hi All
My girlfriend and I just started our long distance relationship. She lives in South Berwick, Maine an I live in Weston, Florida. We met at our university through a friend. We tried long distance before during winter break, but it did not turn out well and led to us breaking up for a month and a half. The main reason that our long distance didn't work out was because of my family. I have a less then ideal family life. There is constant fighting in my house do to minor things such as a dish left in the sink and also do to the fact my sister has autism and has trouble in school leading to many arguments over missed homework, misbehaving in class and incomplete assignments as well as bad test grades. My parents having temper issues they refuse to get resolved does not help matters. My mother is very controlling of my life from my social life almost dictating when i can and can't go out and with who to my finances trying to limit what I can spend on the money I earn myself to keep me at home. Commuting to and from school everyday does not help gain my independence (Though my girlfriend says my mother does this because my older brother was a mess up which he was he dropped out of college and wasted money getting into serious debt and she says my mother does not want the same out come for me). She (my mother) clams she does not like my girlfriend because we broke up after winter break and i was devastated, but the truth is she never really liked her because my girlfriend took me out if the house and out of her control over me. My father has the mentality that it is the 1950's and believes my brother, sister and I should all be up at 7am doing chores and doing everything they say with no questions asked and ask for permission to do anything even as simple as asking for a glass of water. Both seem to forget that I am in college and treat me as if I am still in high school even wanting me to go to bed at 10pm and yelling if I do not. This frustration poured out onto my girlfriend over winter break putting a serious strain on our relationship because i went from never seeing my family all semester to being around them 24/7 for the break. I used my girlfriend, school and my friends as an escape from my house while school was in session and while they where down here in Florida, but once they left for the winter break I was lost with no where to turn and since were i live there is nothing to do i was cooped up in my house.This lead to me being clingy, needy and bored. Making me use my girlfriend as crutch and me feeling as if she was ignoring me because we were playing telephone tag because we did not set up calling times which we resolved this time and have set calling times and a back up plan if we cant talk on that time and have a back up plan for our pack up plan. Me being clingy and needy also I feel made a bad impression on her family and friends because unlike my family hers is very close and she tells them everything including our at that time troubled relationship. Which now makes me embarrassed to be in the same room as my girlfriend when she is skyping and talking to her family and friends because of how I had acted. So my question is how do i not let my family life effect my relationship with my girlfriend like it did last time because she does know of my family issues and is always there for me, but i do not want to become needy and clingy or bring her emotionally down while she is with her family and friends like i did last time especially now that "Love" is involved in our relationship as opposed to "like" during winter break which means if I am sad she will be feel worse then she did during winter break because she hates it when i am sad do to my family which i do not want her to be, but I also want to be able to talk to her about my family life as well. Also, her and I have agreed for me to come up twice this summer for a week each once in June and once in July and her parents are ok with me coming, but i doubt my family will be even when i pay for the whole trip myself because of how controlling they are. How do I go about going to Maine even with out my parents approval. Furthermore how do i apologize to her family and friends when I see them because I truly am sorry for how I acted and how can I make a good impression on them. I really do want them to like me. Finally, if the summer goes well we will talk about me transferring to school up in Maine since she is already graduated and is about to get a full time position at a job in portland. Would this be a good idea for us? Before I forget what are somethings we can do to keep from drifting apart. such as games we can play. I doubt we will drift, but never say never. Also what are some tips we can do to keep the sexual and emotional side of our relationship alive. I am sorry for how long this is and thank you to any who respond.
My girlfriend and I just started our long distance relationship. She lives in South Berwick, Maine an I live in Weston, Florida. We met at our university through a friend. We tried long distance before during winter break, but it did not turn out well and led to us breaking up for a month and a half. The main reason that our long distance didn't work out was because of my family. I have a less then ideal family life. There is constant fighting in my house do to minor things such as a dish left in the sink and also do to the fact my sister has autism and has trouble in school leading to many arguments over missed homework, misbehaving in class and incomplete assignments as well as bad test grades. My parents having temper issues they refuse to get resolved does not help matters. My mother is very controlling of my life from my social life almost dictating when i can and can't go out and with who to my finances trying to limit what I can spend on the money I earn myself to keep me at home. Commuting to and from school everyday does not help gain my independence (Though my girlfriend says my mother does this because my older brother was a mess up which he was he dropped out of college and wasted money getting into serious debt and she says my mother does not want the same out come for me). She (my mother) clams she does not like my girlfriend because we broke up after winter break and i was devastated, but the truth is she never really liked her because my girlfriend took me out if the house and out of her control over me. My father has the mentality that it is the 1950's and believes my brother, sister and I should all be up at 7am doing chores and doing everything they say with no questions asked and ask for permission to do anything even as simple as asking for a glass of water. Both seem to forget that I am in college and treat me as if I am still in high school even wanting me to go to bed at 10pm and yelling if I do not. This frustration poured out onto my girlfriend over winter break putting a serious strain on our relationship because i went from never seeing my family all semester to being around them 24/7 for the break. I used my girlfriend, school and my friends as an escape from my house while school was in session and while they where down here in Florida, but once they left for the winter break I was lost with no where to turn and since were i live there is nothing to do i was cooped up in my house.This lead to me being clingy, needy and bored. Making me use my girlfriend as crutch and me feeling as if she was ignoring me because we were playing telephone tag because we did not set up calling times which we resolved this time and have set calling times and a back up plan if we cant talk on that time and have a back up plan for our pack up plan. Me being clingy and needy also I feel made a bad impression on her family and friends because unlike my family hers is very close and she tells them everything including our at that time troubled relationship. Which now makes me embarrassed to be in the same room as my girlfriend when she is skyping and talking to her family and friends because of how I had acted. So my question is how do i not let my family life effect my relationship with my girlfriend like it did last time because she does know of my family issues and is always there for me, but i do not want to become needy and clingy or bring her emotionally down while she is with her family and friends like i did last time especially now that "Love" is involved in our relationship as opposed to "like" during winter break which means if I am sad she will be feel worse then she did during winter break because she hates it when i am sad do to my family which i do not want her to be, but I also want to be able to talk to her about my family life as well. Also, her and I have agreed for me to come up twice this summer for a week each once in June and once in July and her parents are ok with me coming, but i doubt my family will be even when i pay for the whole trip myself because of how controlling they are. How do I go about going to Maine even with out my parents approval. Furthermore how do i apologize to her family and friends when I see them because I truly am sorry for how I acted and how can I make a good impression on them. I really do want them to like me. Finally, if the summer goes well we will talk about me transferring to school up in Maine since she is already graduated and is about to get a full time position at a job in portland. Would this be a good idea for us? Before I forget what are somethings we can do to keep from drifting apart. such as games we can play. I doubt we will drift, but never say never. Also what are some tips we can do to keep the sexual and emotional side of our relationship alive. I am sorry for how long this is and thank you to any who respond.