ex boyfriend gives mixed signals all the time even after initiating breakup
hello there
I'm a female( age 19) and it has been a year since I last joined college I met a guy ( MALE,age 22) there through some acquaintances, turns out he was in the same class as me and we had a really good vibe with each other and did a lot of things together ..had common interests and never has anyone treated me like he did ...he was there for me at my lowest in all my problems including academics, family issues, friends, toxic environment and how to deal with that. he was just so...sweet. he used to tell me about his religion a lot and really liked hearing him and we would just talk for hours ..he basically knew everything about me that I never knew ...knew how to comfort me and all..turns out he had started to like me ....but that's where the twist started ..he started liking me and just acted like my boyfriend for a month and some of my friends started asking about my situation with him, that time I had to keep quiet because there was no commitment involved...and commitment is important for me . so one day i asked him if he liked me or not he said he did I asked why he didn't let me know all this time..he said " do i really have to say that aloud,i wanted to keep it private and i love you and i wont really have to speak it aloud i just have to show it " i asked if he wanted to commit he just nodded his head and didn't say anything so we started dating and everything went smooth. after a while one day he just totally avoided me and sat far from me ...this went on for a week and i was so drained to try and start a conversation ..so i decided i had to speak with him now or never. i walked up to him and asked him headon..he said he had family problems and he would like to speak some other time for now he needs space...i was like sure take your time....after a few days i approached him again ... a reminder that he never once approached me ..i had to approach him every..time..we sat and he said his father had a medical accident and he was bedridden and his mom had seen every gift that i had given him including all the roses i gave him...his mother basically told him to focus on his studies and told him not to get into a relationship until he finds a job..he said he had financial issues so basically he had a lot of pressure ..i can tell you his eyes were red ..his voice shook..he said all of this is very difficult for him to handle and he agrees with his mother and hes going to obey her..i said okay if that's what you want ..i asked if we should break up..he said yeah that would probably be the best idea and we parted ways and before parting he said we could still be friends tho? i said ill try my best.
after a few months of no contact our college reopens and we see each other again ..he doesn't approach me and starts ignoring me ..A LOT...i tried talking to him and he just either ignored me or cut me off ..i was like okay i think he doesnt wanna be friends ...
after a lot of trials i got him to talk but he wouldnt let me sit beside him thats how tough the situation was
after a lot of persuasion i asked him if he wanted to talk
he said yeah im fine with it
and we started talking normally
one day on our way to a class party we halted on a station platform to get into the train..i asked him how his family was and how he was ..and if everything was fine or not...he said yeah but still unable to hold a conversation ...the entire environment was getting too awkward and toxic so i asked if he wanted to talk about the past ..he said if i wanted to talk about the breakup ?i said yeah lets talk about that ..he said that i had to move one and he knows its hard but i can do it ..he said that all the time he used to think about me and he couldnt just stop thinking about me and he was getting distracted and now he wants to focus on his studies. he said the time spent with me was the best and he does miss all of that but he cant afford it because he has to get good marks to impress his parents and he wants to do something for them'....now he said if he scores good this upcoming semester we can start dating again ..i was like what?? he again nodded his head i was kinda sad and kinda happy but we went on with our day....after a few days later he started ignoring me and avoiding me again ..now i had to ask hiim what happened he said he doesn't want to talk anymore throughout the course i bought up about that day where he spoke about dating again he said i misunderstood all of that and that it never happened, i was so angry that i stormed out of the class. i didn't talk to him for a month ...then after a while some of my friends persuaded him to talk to me and he came to me ..he said things have gotten a bit awkward and i was not doing okay and that he said he doesn't have any problem with me and he normally wants to talk to me again....
now the twists start : somedays i have to stay in college till late evening and he waits for me again and again ..he lives way further from me....all his friends still bring my name in front of him and he still blushes, asks me to eat together alone after his football practices...tells me he can help me study . he even tells me to sit beside him...we recently went to a horror house game where he held me veryy closely to his body and so did he allow me too...he started touching me more and started hanging out with me a lot socially...will help me finish my lunch ,,will give his mine..play games together ....also he gets jealous ig ...some guy used to like me before and he would hand out with me as a friend so my ex(this one) would get so jealous he would just keep quiet..now i have some male friends and he keeps asking me about his whereabouts , if i am talking to him he would ask me why" i didnt go with him ...he seems nice". ABOVE ALL THIS hes hella shy so he doesnt speak. he even asks me to go home with him or his route. we have gone to eat alone together a lot after our breakup...now the thing is i felt uncomfortable and all of this was against my morals ..so i blocked him from just my Instagram...not whatsapp not facebook or any other social...and he started ignoring me again left my messages on seen doesnt interact with me much...
should i have a final open conversation with him??
I'm a female( age 19) and it has been a year since I last joined college I met a guy ( MALE,age 22) there through some acquaintances, turns out he was in the same class as me and we had a really good vibe with each other and did a lot of things together ..had common interests and never has anyone treated me like he did ...he was there for me at my lowest in all my problems including academics, family issues, friends, toxic environment and how to deal with that. he was just so...sweet. he used to tell me about his religion a lot and really liked hearing him and we would just talk for hours ..he basically knew everything about me that I never knew ...knew how to comfort me and all..turns out he had started to like me ....but that's where the twist started ..he started liking me and just acted like my boyfriend for a month and some of my friends started asking about my situation with him, that time I had to keep quiet because there was no commitment involved...and commitment is important for me . so one day i asked him if he liked me or not he said he did I asked why he didn't let me know all this time..he said " do i really have to say that aloud,i wanted to keep it private and i love you and i wont really have to speak it aloud i just have to show it " i asked if he wanted to commit he just nodded his head and didn't say anything so we started dating and everything went smooth. after a while one day he just totally avoided me and sat far from me ...this went on for a week and i was so drained to try and start a conversation ..so i decided i had to speak with him now or never. i walked up to him and asked him headon..he said he had family problems and he would like to speak some other time for now he needs space...i was like sure take your time....after a few days i approached him again ... a reminder that he never once approached me ..i had to approach him every..time..we sat and he said his father had a medical accident and he was bedridden and his mom had seen every gift that i had given him including all the roses i gave him...his mother basically told him to focus on his studies and told him not to get into a relationship until he finds a job..he said he had financial issues so basically he had a lot of pressure ..i can tell you his eyes were red ..his voice shook..he said all of this is very difficult for him to handle and he agrees with his mother and hes going to obey her..i said okay if that's what you want ..i asked if we should break up..he said yeah that would probably be the best idea and we parted ways and before parting he said we could still be friends tho? i said ill try my best.
after a few months of no contact our college reopens and we see each other again ..he doesn't approach me and starts ignoring me ..A LOT...i tried talking to him and he just either ignored me or cut me off ..i was like okay i think he doesnt wanna be friends ...
after a lot of trials i got him to talk but he wouldnt let me sit beside him thats how tough the situation was
after a lot of persuasion i asked him if he wanted to talk
he said yeah im fine with it
and we started talking normally
one day on our way to a class party we halted on a station platform to get into the train..i asked him how his family was and how he was ..and if everything was fine or not...he said yeah but still unable to hold a conversation ...the entire environment was getting too awkward and toxic so i asked if he wanted to talk about the past ..he said if i wanted to talk about the breakup ?i said yeah lets talk about that ..he said that i had to move one and he knows its hard but i can do it ..he said that all the time he used to think about me and he couldnt just stop thinking about me and he was getting distracted and now he wants to focus on his studies. he said the time spent with me was the best and he does miss all of that but he cant afford it because he has to get good marks to impress his parents and he wants to do something for them'....now he said if he scores good this upcoming semester we can start dating again ..i was like what?? he again nodded his head i was kinda sad and kinda happy but we went on with our day....after a few days later he started ignoring me and avoiding me again ..now i had to ask hiim what happened he said he doesn't want to talk anymore throughout the course i bought up about that day where he spoke about dating again he said i misunderstood all of that and that it never happened, i was so angry that i stormed out of the class. i didn't talk to him for a month ...then after a while some of my friends persuaded him to talk to me and he came to me ..he said things have gotten a bit awkward and i was not doing okay and that he said he doesn't have any problem with me and he normally wants to talk to me again....
now the twists start : somedays i have to stay in college till late evening and he waits for me again and again ..he lives way further from me....all his friends still bring my name in front of him and he still blushes, asks me to eat together alone after his football practices...tells me he can help me study . he even tells me to sit beside him...we recently went to a horror house game where he held me veryy closely to his body and so did he allow me too...he started touching me more and started hanging out with me a lot socially...will help me finish my lunch ,,will give his mine..play games together ....also he gets jealous ig ...some guy used to like me before and he would hand out with me as a friend so my ex(this one) would get so jealous he would just keep quiet..now i have some male friends and he keeps asking me about his whereabouts , if i am talking to him he would ask me why" i didnt go with him ...he seems nice". ABOVE ALL THIS hes hella shy so he doesnt speak. he even asks me to go home with him or his route. we have gone to eat alone together a lot after our breakup...now the thing is i felt uncomfortable and all of this was against my morals ..so i blocked him from just my Instagram...not whatsapp not facebook or any other social...and he started ignoring me again left my messages on seen doesnt interact with me much...
should i have a final open conversation with him??