It's so strange the highs and lows. I've discovered that we are good for a month.
It seems like once we hit that halfway mark things died down a little in this stretch. the wanting each other part got so sad (at least on my end.) He had work long hours, as did I - and at some point, at least for me it started to feel like I wasn't getting anything accomplished and was more focused on our communications than anything else. As a mom - that's no bueno.
So when he cooled it a little, I followed suit.
I think we both started to feel a little pathetic too.
Neither of us is willing to take this relationship anywhere near the L word, or very far beyond exclusivity.
Only our closest friends know we are seeing each other - and we have lots of acquaintances in common. Im fine with that part. No sense in telling the world anything you aren't complete invested in.
But the truth is - I am invested. He's the first person I think of and the last - every day. We agree on all kinds of topics, think the same way, have the same goals..,its hard not to be sure of him.
But I have a feeling with ptsd as part of the equation Im going to be keeping that information to myself for as
Long as it takes him. Which could be a very long while- or never.
Im ok with never. To a point. What point is that? I don't know. It's hard to put into concrete terms - when you are starting in on Month 5 in a week.
Well. East Coast to visit next weekend. (FINALLY!) and then the end of April out Fabulous vacation.
And then maybe we'll see after that. See what his interest in coming out is maybe. He did very sweetly make some very endearing comments that put my mind at ease about what kind of mentality he has about my son.
Very nice to hear - but maybe by summers end we'll have some clues on that front.
If you have any advice on how to tolerate months apart- or how to go about sizing things up (for lack of a better term...) and what the potential or future options even are- Id be curious to hear them.
Of course alternatively - I could just sit back - relax and see what happens and do my damnedest to not over think it all.
It seems like once we hit that halfway mark things died down a little in this stretch. the wanting each other part got so sad (at least on my end.) He had work long hours, as did I - and at some point, at least for me it started to feel like I wasn't getting anything accomplished and was more focused on our communications than anything else. As a mom - that's no bueno.
So when he cooled it a little, I followed suit.
I think we both started to feel a little pathetic too.
Neither of us is willing to take this relationship anywhere near the L word, or very far beyond exclusivity.
Only our closest friends know we are seeing each other - and we have lots of acquaintances in common. Im fine with that part. No sense in telling the world anything you aren't complete invested in.
But the truth is - I am invested. He's the first person I think of and the last - every day. We agree on all kinds of topics, think the same way, have the same goals..,its hard not to be sure of him.
But I have a feeling with ptsd as part of the equation Im going to be keeping that information to myself for as
Long as it takes him. Which could be a very long while- or never.
Im ok with never. To a point. What point is that? I don't know. It's hard to put into concrete terms - when you are starting in on Month 5 in a week.
Well. East Coast to visit next weekend. (FINALLY!) and then the end of April out Fabulous vacation.
And then maybe we'll see after that. See what his interest in coming out is maybe. He did very sweetly make some very endearing comments that put my mind at ease about what kind of mentality he has about my son.
Very nice to hear - but maybe by summers end we'll have some clues on that front.
If you have any advice on how to tolerate months apart- or how to go about sizing things up (for lack of a better term...) and what the potential or future options even are- Id be curious to hear them.
Of course alternatively - I could just sit back - relax and see what happens and do my damnedest to not over think it all.