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My LDR story

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    Teens My LDR story

    Hello! I thought of this site randomly one day and not having been on here in more than a month decided to visit it even though I am no longer in an LDR. I decided to share my story for fun x) Sorry that it's so long! :O I'll be surprised if someone reads this whole thing xD

    I was in an LDR from 6/29/2012-3/2/2013. I live in California and my ex lived in Kentucky. I was 16 at the time and he was 19. I met him on Omegle video chat. I had an attraction to him, but figured that he didn't feel the same way about me. I was going to get to know him first and then try to go for an LDR, but he ended up asking me out a few days after we met! So no time was wasted at all haha. Like the beginning of every relationship, it was all great and lovey dovey. Him and I would talk and text everyday and would Skype as often as we could. I thought this was the best thing to ever happen to me. I got with him during the summer so I had a great amount time to talk to him during the beginning of our relationship. Then school started so no more of talking with him throughout the entire day, but school starting was also exciting because it was the beginning of my Senior year of high school.

    My ex and I moved rather fast. In the first month we were already talking about living together, but I would be the one that would have to move. He didn't have the money to move and live in California. Still in the honeymoon phase of the relationship, I thought that was a good idea and started making plans to go be with him. I applied to colleges in Kentucky, but didn't even consider applying to schools in California. My dad would pester me and ask me if I have applied to any colleges. I never told him about applying to schools in Kentucky because he would want to know why I have a sudden interest in that state and I did not want to tell him about my LDR. My dad had a say about my college choices since he would be paying my tuition then I realized that if I wanted to go to college in Kentucky I would have to get my own money, but the issue was how I was going to gather enough money to pay for 4 years worth of college tuition. I joined websites such as Cappex and Fastweb and would be on the computer for hours looking for scholarships and printed multiple scholarship applications (I never even finished any of those applications anyways) I would get headaches from looking at my laptop screen for hours and would stress about how I would get the money.

    I couldn't just wait until I was 18 because my birthday is in September and the Fall year started in August so just waiting until I was 18, then leaving wasn't an option.

    Since I was setting myself up to go to Kentucky, it made it look like I had no sense of direction to my parents since I kept the relationship a secret from them. Another plan I was going to go with to stay at home for another two years then transfer to a college in Kentucky. I really didn't want to stay home though because then it would mean two more years with my parents (ugh!) plus it meant two more years of long distance.

    I remember dealing with those times where he took forever to text back and me getting sad about it. Getting exciting when I got a text hoping that it was from him and getting disappointed if it wasn't. I started neglecting my friends because I would get upset if it was them who texted me and not him. Whenever a friend texted me I would either not reply or only text them for a little bit then ignore them.

    I eventually told my mother about my LDR. She would say negative stuff about it, but I would always brush it off.

    Eventually our relationship started to go downhill in February. He started working 12 hours and I was involved in a play. He would get off work at 7:30 p.m. (4:30 p.m. my time) and he would call me, but I would be unable to answer because I was at my rehearsals. At rehearsals I was always checking my phone and sad to see that he hadn't contacted me. I thought that he could at least text me because I was able to do that. I wasn't focused on my play and was always depressed at rehearsal because I wished that I could've been able to talk to him instead of being at rehearsal.

    I would tell him about how I felt like I wasn't important to him anymore and that we were drifting apart, at first he would tell me that I was important and blah blah blah, but after a while he stopped doing that too. It got to the point to where I was lucky if he replied to me once or twice. Valentines day was depressing because the relationship was already dwindling. I tried breaking up with him once in February, but I changed my mind because I still loved him.

    And one time in one of my classes my teacher was talking about how technology ruins people and made a comment about having a boyfriend/girlfriend that you met online and how it was kind of sad if you haven't met them in person. Everyone in the class except me laughed. The girl who sits next to me (who knows about my LDR because one day in class my friend asked me if I was going to get anything for my boyfriend on Valentine's Day and the girl was like "You have a boyfriend?" and I said "Yeah but he lives in Kentucky" so that's how this girl knows) turned and looked at me, but I looked away and then she asked if I met my boyfriend in person and I said no, but I have seen him on Skype numerous times, but I think she laughed when I said that. I'm not sure because I looked away. No one else heard though, but I was so upset after that. I'm not mad at the teacher though because wasn't her comment wasn't aimed at me, but I wouldn't have been upset if the girl hadn't said anything. I was so upset about that so I texted my boyfriend telling what happened. He was at work when I texted him so I didn't expect him to reply right away, but I didn't end up hearing from him for the rest of the day. That night at rehearsal I sent him a text saying "I feel like I'm not important. If you don't care/love me anymore just tell me." I didn't hear from him at all the next day. I didn't text him the next day because I wanted to see if he would text me, but he didn't (but there had been days during our relationship where I wouldn't hear from him for a day or two so I don't know if it was just one of those days.) I didn't tried not to let it bother me because I was going to Youth Winter Camp for the weekend and wanted to make sure that I had fun. The next morning he sent me a text saying that he agreed that we drifted apart and that we should just be friends. At first I was sad, but I ended up getting over it.

    Right after that happened I wanted to get rid of everything I had that was related to him. I deleted his number and the picture of him I had in my phone. I called my sister and asked her if she could change my relationship status to single and to unfriend my ex. I couldn't go on Facebook myself because I was still at camp and didn't have a phone that can go on the internet. So my sister did what I asked her to do. And the night of our breakup I made out with one of the guys in my Youth Group (Don't judge me -__-)

    Luckily I still had time to apply to colleges in California. I got accepted to two of them (La Sierra University and Vanguard University of Southern California). I got financial aid from both schools, but Vanguard ended up giving me more financial aid ($18,000) so I will be attending that school this fall plus I'll be living on campus so I'll get to get away from my parents after all (yay!). I am glad that I still had enough time after my ex and I broke up to get my act together and now my parents can breathe because they know I have a sense of direction.

    To be honest, I will never do long distance again and will try at all cost to avoid it. I'm not talking badly about LDRs, but I'm what I'm saying is that knowing how it is and all the heartache involved, I just wouldn't want to go through that again. I just don't have the capability to deal with it again. So never again, but I give props to the people who are still in an LDR.

    Well that's my LDR story. Sorry if it was so long and will be surprised if you had the patience to sit and read this whole thing because I barely had the patience to sit and type this haha. Well I wish the best of luck to all the LDR couples out there because I know the work that goes into an LDR. May God bless your LDR!
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