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Overthinking, My LDR Story

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    Overthinking, My LDR Story

    First, I can't really use english and hope u guys understand what I shared below.

    I'm a kind of person that see virginity is important.

    So, me and my gf started our relationship on 2020 and we do it by LDR.

    Before I date my current gf, I had unofficial relationship with other girl let say girl A and we did it by LDR too and that didn't turn out well (worst).

    It was girl A that confront me first and tell me that she like me but doesn't want to do boyfriend/girlfriend relationship (no - status relationship) and I'm ok with it.

    Both my gf and girl A were on same highschool with me, my gf was my classmate, girl A was my junior.

    When I do my university (this was when me and girl A started NSR LDR), me and girl A still contacting each other, tho its not frequent.

    There was a time I did try persuade her to officialize our relationship, but still, she doesn't want to.

    Then what happen next was she started other unofficial relationship with her classmate without telling me.

    I did told girl A one time, that if she doesn't like me anymore, just tell me.

    So, from there on, I kinda have some trust issue.

    A year later I date my current gf, as usual, new couple will talks about everything but still normal (I mean, there is no sexual content in it).

    We have a female friend from highschool too and her videos leaked (u know what I mean).

    Me and my gf talks about it too and from there on, we started talks about sexual things, mostly about sexual organs, at first.

    Over times we talk dirty sexual things (sex and masturbating) and I told her that, I do masturbate imagining her. From here on, when we do voice call, she will accompany me masturbating.

    When we, guys, masturbating its up to us if we do it fast or slow (ejaculate). I masturbate and done in +- 10 minutes and told her that I finish masturbate and she said I attain orgasm too fast.
    (this is my first suspicion against her, she said I attain orgasm too fast, how does she know if attain orgasm taking too much time or lesser time?)

    Then, there was a time when I started showing her my penis using video call and she said my penis size is small.
    (this is my second suspicion, what does she comparing to, what her reference?)

    She know about BDSM, especially (SM), like BD are easy to remember (Bondage and Discipline), SM not words that usually use in normal daily talks.
    (this is my third suspicion)

    For information, she do read romance novel, boy love, etc. (Do by reading romance novel, bl, etc can give u some information about sexual things?)

    She said she never have any lover/ex.

    We argue so many times and I do realize that I'm the one who started it, because I have trust issue.

    From the story I shared, I trully need some advices and opinions from u guys, ty
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