First of all, the blog area has changed a lot since I’ve last been here in February! I've started reading quite a few... All the enthusiasm for writing that can be seen here has made me want to join in on the fun too!

So where to begin... I don't know where to start really, or where I want to take this. My first post was about my life in general, I think the second one will be about the day my life changed...

For me, it wasn't your traditional happy first date...

I had met him a couple of times, and we had been to a movie together (supposed to go with a common friend, but he ended up bailing out on us at the last second).

The first time we had actually called up each other and made plans to meet was June 2nd 2005. I picked up some ink, papers and brushes from the art store and headed out to his house for the first time. We were planning on doing crafts... A while after I got there I realized my phone was off because the battery had died, so I plugged it in and turned it back on. I instantly got a call from my parents saying they'd been trying to reach me for a long time, that everyone was looking for me...

There had been a car bomb in Beirut (first of what would be a long series after the assassination of the Prime Minister in February that year). The targeted victim was the father of a friend from my class in uni, a renowned journalist... I was in complete shock... I just sat there on his couch crying... Watching the news on the TV... Waiting for things to be a little cleared out so I could go to my friends house... To this day i still see that image that passed on TV for just an instant and was never shown back, him seated in his car, his arms around the steering wheel, as though this was a black and white noisy picture of him sleeping... But he wasn't sleeping, and the noise was wounds and bruises...
JP tried comforting me the best he could... He was even able to gets a few laughs out of me... He accompanied me on the way to my friend’s house and then had to go to his uni courses...

At the evening there was a procession of hundreds of people with candles and roses from downtown up to the scene of the crime. He came with me... At the end of the walk, the crowd was gathered under my friend’s house, and we wanted to cut through so we could get inside. He held my hand and led the way. I can not even begin to describe how I felt when his fingers touched mine... I just knew I never wanted to let it go... All the emotions that simple act conveyed, it was inconceivable. It was screaming strength, safety, shelter, compassion, tenderness, confidence, humility, warmth, loyalty, and most of all hope...

I eventually had to let it go when we said goodbye an hour or so later that night.
Two days after that we shared our first kiss. But to me, it’s at that moment, when he joined our hands together, that my whole existence changed.

If we ever celebrate an anniversary, that night would be it, as dark as that day was..


Here are some pictures of that day. Beware, some of the images below are graphic.


Samir Kassir(May 5, 1960 – June 2, 2005)




The scene of the crime













The vigil held in his honor