It feels like I need to get this out somewhere, and it also feels like i should be giving you a fair warning of what i fear is to come...
I'm having a bit of a hard time dealing with things going on around me...
Lama is getting married this summer.
Tania is also getting married this summer.
Antoine is getting married this year...
Sous is getting married next year...
Rhea zac is currently looking for an apartment...
Nayla is preparing to move in with boulos..
.
I am a confident for almost all of them.. i am truly happy for them, and as supportive and helpful as i can be... They enjoy my look on things, and i guess i give out some kind of signal of being "wise"... I also enjoy these conversations as they are either a lot of fun, or eye openers as to how i would deal with things if i were in the same situation...
i've been trying my best to stay positive, but i'm having a hard time seeing everyone move on, getting to turning points or steps in their lives that are important in my eyes, and seeing myself in a standstill position...
I am aware that the road we have chosen is not the easy one, and the way I’m feeling now is just a bump along the way, but being aware of that doesn’t make it any easier… I am very thankful for the opportunities we both have, and most of all thankful that we have found each other… You and I as a couple are such a strong item, the true meaning of partnership in my eyes, and that is priceless… There is no doubt as to the inestimable value of our bond, and the might of our union… We are truly fortunate… I know I have already told you this, but in my eyes, we are already married; my commitment is the same, we are already a family… Some days I have a lot more trouble dealing with us being away from each other knowing all that… and well, these last two weeks have been those kinds of days…
I guess what I’m trying to say is, I might be wanting to talk a lot more about our future plans in the months to come… kind of as a reassurance that we are both on the same page, that we both want similar things, compare and coincide our timeframes, and make things happen…basically that our lives our not put on hold… please don’t let that scare you away… and if I let my emotions take complete hold of me, and start making too much out of it, please bring me back to my senses..
We could use a code word for instance, how about batlimos?
(Just thought you should know)