It's kinda horrible to whine but can't help it.
After I had 2 LDR's that failed,it's really discouraging when my mother told me "you will break up because I can see what type of guy he is" and "you suck and you will fail in finding job".I mean come on.The argument she gave was that we are "different".While I have travelled all over the world,got Bachelor in Switzerland and am now studying in Canada,my SO has never left the country and is simply working (not being a multi-millionaire).I am not surprised to hear all that from a woman who once seriously suggested me marrying a gay so I get residentship.However,I am stuck here all alone and everything I need to hear is some encouragement or at least shut up and stop being a bitch.We have been having issues with my mother for like forever and I will not overreact by saying that she can smile to you and then say bad things behind your back or simply put so much drama in your life that you will feel miserable for the rest of it.She is in 2 states only: either sugary-sweet or awfully bitchy.She is comparing my current LDR to the very first one I had when the guy was also from my homecountry and I was ready to give up my studies for him.Now I am really trusting my SO and I believe he can make it into FFL,but well.Before that happens,it would really be nice to avoid all that crap.
I just really wish I had normal family including dad.A family that would support and care that I feel good,so I will not have to hide the fact that I am crying my soul out almost every evening here.
Sorry for that emotional outburst,it was just kinda too much to keep inside.