How do you guys stand the loneliness????

Jennyonthebeach started a blog post How do you guys stand the loneliness????
January 3, 2011, 10:42 AM
How do you guys stand the loneliness????

It has been 4 months since I've seen my SO. Four long, painful, frustrating, and well, lonely months. Yes, I knew before I got myself into this relationship that if it was to continue, and it did, it would be an LDR. However, what I neglected to fully realize was that LDR's suck. The suck huge hairy monkey balls. Because I'm impatient by nature and I want to be with him right now. I was supposed to go see him and spend Christmas with him but stupid weather prevented that. So now I'll see him in February. I know that's less the 30 days away, but I know that I will only be with him for 8 days. And I fly all the way back here to Germany where I'm just by myself. Well, I have my dog Jack, but that is little comfort. It would be better if I had better friends here, but my friends have since gotten married with babies or moved and I just haven't been able to find people that I click with yet. Or that don't remind me of the bf that I'd rather be with.

Maybe it would be better too if I could actually live over here. I don't go out anymore, I don't do anything. Maybe go to a house party here and there, but they aren't wild ones, they're family ones. Which just reminds me of Seth. I just feel guilty if I go to a bar or a club. I know I'm not cheating or anything, but I feel like I can't relax enough to enjoy myself anyway. I just usually don't even bother and sit on my couch and watch TV or movies online.

My complaint today is that I miss him so damn much and it hurts so bad not to be in the same room with him! Not to hold his hand or kiss his lips! I'd be happy with a hug! But all I can do is talk to him on Skype which is great but I need more. We don't talk everyday. I would love it if we did, and trust me that is my main nag for him to be more available. It's hard though with the time difference.

I know communication is the key, but I know too that its hard for him to hear how badly I'm taking this. Sure, we could break up, but that won't make anyone happy!

It's just time, right? I just have to deal with all this now and then later it'll be like it never happened because I'll be happy with him permanently. That's what I just have to believe.
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5 comments
- #3
  
  mllebamako commented
  
  January 3, 2011, 11:30 AM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  That's great that you have a date you can look forward to being together without the distance! From personal experience, I know that having that end-of-this-crap date can make things a million times easier.
  
  Just be patient and remember that this time apart is a small price to pay to have someone as amazing as your SO in your life.
- #4
  
  Jennyonthebeach commented
  
  January 3, 2011, 12:24 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Its just so hard. I brought up that I wanted to talk to him more, but he says that he's honestly too busy to talk anymore anymore than we are, because he has things that he needs to do and he still needs his "me time" too. I can understand, but when I'm here feeling very isolated, that's really hard to hear. I get so upset sometimes like I just did on the phone with him and then I end up saying stupid things. Like I was talking about how I'm so miserable and that this just sucks that I can't be with him physically, and somehow, I ended up sounding like I was looking for the exit. Completely broke my heart to hear him ask me if I was giving up on us! I just hate how I have these little meltdowns and the reason for them can't be fixed! He's so worth it though. He's the most amazing person and I love him so much!
- #5
  
  RyanJr commented
  
  January 3, 2011, 05:25 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  my SO and i usually go about 4 months without seeing eachother at a time. It sucks and it's hard... but when you love someone, its so worth it. Patience are important, and try not to fight with eachother because your frustrated about Distance. I read that you have a date to look forward too- which is soo good and important. Counting down can be fun and exciting..so just remember that. Just keep your head up and stay positive
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How do you guys stand the loneliness????