He went to a strip club.

Jennyonthebeach started a blog post He went to a strip club.
January 17, 2011, 04:16 AM
He went to a strip club.

My SO and I had a talk way back when we first started this LDR, and we've had it again a couple times since, about what is cheating and what's not cheating. The boundaries talk. Flirting with other people, going to strip clubs, hookers, kissing, sex, with other people, the usual. I guess strip clubs is a minor offense, but he was the one who was so adamant that we both not go to those. Fine with me, I don't care to go to those to begin with.

So why does he tell me now that he went to a strip club while he was in Charlotte this weekend? He was kinda vague on the details but idk. This is not a big deal I guess, but I feel cheated. I don't think I'm upset about that it was a strip club, more the fact that he said he considered it cheating and then he went. Yeah, he was drunk, but meh, its that damn grey area. This is the first time that I've cried myself going to sleep and cried when I woke up. Usually when we get in fights and I cry, which is every time, I'm okay as soon as we hang up. But not this time. I'm really sad about this.

He is really sorry about this. He wants to fix it. I sarcastically told him that he should send me flowers, not that he could, but he said he would never do that since it seemed fake affection. I told him that he did this so he needs to fix it and that he's known me long enough now that he knows what makes me happy. But I'm not holding my breath.

I've been checking the Post Office almost everyday to see if his Christmas present has come in yet, just to find out last night too, that he hasn't even sent it yet! Ugh! I'm about ready send his birthday presents and he hasn't even sent my Christmas presents, wth!!

I guess I'm just venting. I know most the things that me and him have trouble with will be resolved when we're together finally, but 9 more months is a long time. I guess good news is that he's excited to meet my parents in April when I come home again. I'll be home in Feb too but I'm going to go see him. In April, though I'll be going home for my dad's 50th Bday and throwing a surprise party for him! I'm very excited about it, now more so that Seth is excited too. I still love him, this is just very hard for me. This is actually my longest relationship at 7 months and I'm almost 24. Sad, huh?
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2 comments
- #1
  
  Dauntedpoet commented
  
  January 17, 2011, 12:08 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Last things first, its not at all sad that this is the longest relationship and your 24. Its much better to get out of relationships that don't work then just stay in them... trust me I spent 5 years with someone just because i didn't want to be alone when I was 19-24. So you toss that thought out of your head.
  
  First things last, I completely understand your upset...have you thought about telling him he is giving you mixed signals? I mean technically he has just cheated on you by HIS own standards...was that his intention? that coupled with the old adage 'actions speak louder than words' his not sending your christmas present.. as it's not the gift as much as knowing he is thinking of you.
  
  Good luck and Hugs
- #2
  
  lucybelle commented
  
  January 17, 2011, 01:50 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  I think he's got a classic man-thing, a double standard. I believe he thinks it's cheating if YOU go to a strip club, but if he goes it's okay because it's something that "all guys" do. You're not upset he went to a strip club, you're upset he broke his OWN RULES. And he should send you some damn flowers (there's plenty of ways to do it over the internet).
  
  I think you should express to him that it doesn't matter he went to a strip club, it matters that he broke the rules that he made for your relationship. I feel like that's a big deal! It doesn't matter that he was drunk. He should be faithful to the boundaries he set up.
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He went to a strip club.