I'm just having a bad day. Tomorrow's my bday and I'm just bummed. Every year before I had a bunch of friend and we'd go out celebrating but not this year since they all moved on. Now I don't ever even talk to them and I guess I'm hesitant on making new friends because I don't to abandon them when I move on, but I'm just so lonely right now.
Even if I were in the states though, it's not like my SO would be there to celebrate it with me since his shop is working 15 hr shifts right now with no weekends. And I bummed because we haven't had that skype talk because he's just too tired. I'm bummed but I'm not upset. I really understand and we talk on txt and FB a lot this week. Still sucks though.
Because he is under this punishment he hasn't been able to submit his paperwork for leave yet and we don't know how long this is going to last. I may not be able to go see him because he won't be able to pick me up from the airport and even then I'll be stuck in his apt looking at his fish tanks bored for 15 some hours while he's at work with no car or anything to do. Except to wait for him to come home and then he'll be too worn out to do anything. I will end up just sleeping in the same bed as him and that would be it for a week.
I'd be happy with that, I really would. I'd of course be disappointed not to get any more quality time with him. He'd be pissed off the entire time because he'll feel bad that I came all that way and we couldn't do anything but spend just a couple waking hours together each day.
That's the worst about today, the possibility of not being able to see him in three weeks. There's some other things going on, just the universe picking today to be stupid like denying my credit card on a 15 dollar purchase even though I have a couple hundred left on my limit and my dogs muddy paws jumping on my uniform for tomorrow. Oh and my bday tomorrow and probably no one even caring besides my family of course , but they're in the states. Even my best friend here who doesn't have time for me, said she was going to make me a cake, but I asked her to make one of her best dishes, this super yummy eggplant Parmesan, and her husband asked me today if it was okay not to make it since it kinda does that some time to make and they have the baby... Like a cake would be that much quicker. Idk, maybe I'm getting angry over nothing. I just want to be home with my SO and go out to dinner or have a little party of something. That's what I get I guess for having my true friends all over the world, they are never in the same place all at once!
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ranting again...
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ranting again...
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#1Jennyonthebeach commentedJanuary 23, 2011, 01:27 PMEditing a commentOk, on second thought I would not be happy AT ALL if he can't get those days off! I'm already in tears just at the thought. Its not like its cheap for me to fly to the states! I'm not just going home to see him but you know my family too, of course. After the plane ticket, which actually is pretty cheap for a transatlantic flight, and paying for someone to watch my 95 lb retriever which not everyone is jumping up to do, I can't afford to take another trip besides the other one in April which is not to see him, its for my dad's 50 th Bday. Yes my SO will be there, but only for maybe 5 days, and only 3/5 will true quality time. It's almost 1,000 bucks every time I go home. I wish he would get his passport, maybe come see me for a change, but since he doesn't get the discount I get, its a lot more expensive for him to come to me. And to be honest as much as I want to see him and visit, we have other things to save up for. Like when we're together after this LDR and looking for a place to live. And I'll need a car to get around. And saving for a wedding... maybe who knows? I'm just sooooo bummed! I want a damn fast forward button!!!
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