Right now I hate me. I hate the situation. I hate that I am away from the man I love. I hate that everything is dependant on the fact that he has to sell that house. I am no longer strong. All I have done is cry. I don't want to do this. I hate hate hate hate hate this situation. I have been patient. I have been strong. I want to be with him. I have waited all my life. I have no friggin clue when I will see him again. I hate this. I am not in a good place right now when it comes to my emotions. I HATE this. I am stressed to the max and this day to day bs is NOT cutting it. I havent heard from him since he got home from work at 1 am....who knows...maybe he is sick of my sadness.....there is a part of me that truly thinks he is just going to walk away because for him to be moved here....there is SOOO many sacrafices he is making...and well right now...I just don't feel worth it.

Not in a good place................ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh