My ex husband and I are battling. Bad. It never has been a good relationship between he and I. We always fought. We don’t just fight…we fight dirty. He is a very controlling man with a sharp tongue. I hate the person I am when I am around him. For 17 years it was all I knew. I had no idea a relationship could be good, loving, and 2-ways. I hate myself for allowing a man to treat me the way he did and I hate myself for how I treated him. But I am past that…years of therapy have led me here. Today.
Sigh. With kids you can’t just move on. You have to see this person all the time. We have joint custody..50/50. He manipulates his words and knows how to cut me to my center and make me feel like a big pile of poo. He is a great father though. He really is. And financially he MORE than pays his share of custody. I will give him that. I try so hard to just ignore his words…to know the validity of his words means nothing anymore. But they do. I give them the power to hurt me. I willingly allow it. My Daniel has taught me so much. When we first met I was angry. OOOOH angry doesn’t even touch it. We were vindictive and spiteful. Through my love though I have learned how important it is that the X and I are cival for the children. And usually we are. Except for right now. And it is really taking a toll on me.
ugh.

On a positive note! ONE WEEK!