Dear Distance,

I can't deal with you anymore. I can't. Today was another meltdown of me being overwhelmed with everything. I have to face it.

I won't see my SO for Thanksgiving.
Or Christmas.

Facts are facts. And I probably won't see him right after for Holiday Break either.

Alone.

God if I wanted to be alone I would just NOT be in a relationship. It would be a heck of a lot easier just to not have to deal with these feelings. I miss him and I am LOST right now. I am happy with him and miserable without him. This is NOT me. I am a chipper happy person, who sees the positive in everything.

I want to run far away. Escape it all.

I have too much in my brain and on my plate.

I don't want to love something so much it hurts. I don't want this feeling..
I hurt and I hurt bad.

Everywhere I look is a reminder of what I could have. His stuff is all here but he is not. Everything is a reminder of what could be but what isn't. Unless his house sells we will NOT be together. Simple as that.

Not sure how much I can handle anymore. But I have a feeling I am very close to overload.

When I hit overload I am out. I run.