I will crawl into this huge bed of mine. Body pillows all strategically placed. I will hug my pink one tight and cry to sleep. I don't say that so you can feel sorry for me. It is what I am feeling right now. I am alone. I am in a big crowd of people but seriously alone. I hate it.

Tomorrow I will go to work. Put on happy face for the customers, earn big tips..tire my body..come home...go to bed..only to do it again on Sunday.

I miss my kids..they are with Dad till Monday morning.

I hate my life right now. But I can't change it. Not yet.

So I plug along. Good days and bad days.

Today being the latter.

He has been tired all night...he keeps having me call him in an hour..then we talk briefly...baby...call me in another hour.

No thanks...this has went on all night.

For now it is I that is tired.