Something is going on with me. Not sure how to look at it....it's not bad...but it's more of me being numb.
My love and I have hit a spot where were aren't talking as much and he is DEFINITELY not lovey dovey. He has pulled back A LOT. Now in my mind..I am like...go away...pull away....walls will go up because I won't be hurt. It is what it is. I have lived a life of good and bad relationships. I have been loved fully, had children, had the wedding, had the career. I have lived. Right now I look at my life as being a bonus. Any happiness I have now is a bonus...what I wasn't expecting.
I really get irritated when I read about how "perfect" relationships are...sorry but no relationship is perfect. One needs to take off the rose colored glasses and see reality.
I have reasons for the way I am..
I am just irritated. Part of me thinks this is the end...and the more insecure I act I know it drives him further away.
I am like on a crash course...I know the end result but right now I can't stop.
We will be talking later....I just have to keep my mouth shut and not say things to purposely sabatoge this.
I am sick of the LD. I am tired of waiting,
I am so TIRED of this.
One thing about me is I don't sugar coat things...it is what it is...I won't ever try to make anything seem what it is not.
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Karringtyn started a blog post Crash course...Crash course...
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Most of it was in my head. I felt like he was pulling back because that's what I wanted to see, because I was starting to feel insecure about...myself again. It turned out it really had nothing to do with him in the first place. I even used the term lovey dovey when I talked to him about it later. I missed the sweet emails and long texts and words about how much he loves me, and I understand why any person would let that get to them.
You obviously know your man, and know when he's pulling away. But... it makes me so sad to think that its just...done with. That you two arn't going to be anything. Maybe he is pulling away for undisclosed reasons? An issue with himself or perhaps just getting too caught up in his daily life?
And you're happiness is not a bonus. Yes, you have lived a wonderful life. But you get to be happy until the day you die. Thats what you deserve.
Fight for this, talk it out until you're blue.
Thats my advice anyway. <3 hugs and such
You are strong, you have a good head on your shoulders. Don't let this get to you.
Distance is HARD, and it makes you doubt a lot of little things that wouldn't bother you in a close distance relationship. But that just makes the love stronger.
The way I see it in my own relationship, in my mind we are already married. I have already taken those vows in my heart. And I have taken divorce off the table as an option. I will give it my all to work through anything that comes our way. (ps. I am not being naive, of course divorce could happen to us and of course it is always an option. I'm just trying to say that it's easier to fight for something when you tell yourself that this is it...there is no end...I will fight through it)