I just want to matter.
To someone.
To not care what I have to offer.
To not have to be perfect.
To want to just drop everything and be with me.
I want to be wonderful enough for everything to work out.
Why be sensible? Why be responsible?
I am tired of being the one waiting for the phone to ring.
I am tired of doing the work.
TIred of over analyzing and over thinking.
I cnafrhfqewiuofnhasdkjnckdsjzbdaskjdbaskjhdbaksjdha skjhdashdklhsdksjhdas am sooo frustrated.
I can't do this anymore. I can't. And because of it I will lose the best thing that has ever happened to me. I will lose the ONLY person I have allowed in.
I just want to matter.
I cry and cry and it solves nothing.
I am soo tired of this.
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NOW LISTEN HERE!!!!!!!! YOU MATTER TO HELL OF ALOT OF PEOPLE INCLUDING DAN, YOUR KIDS, YOUR FRIENDS, YOUR FAMILY!!! DID YOU NOT SAY ONE DAY AT A TIME FOR MANY THINGS??? YOU WERE THE ONE THAT MADE THAT UP BECAUSE YOU FELT YOU NEEDED TO!!!! YOU CANNOT RUSH THINGS LIKE YOU WANT THEM TOO!!!! IT WILL HAPPEN WHEN ITS MEANT TO, AND IT WILL HAPPEN BUT YOU NEED TO STOP BEING SO IMPATIENT!!!! DAN LOVES YOU ALOT, YOU MATTER TO HIM ALOT, I CAN SEE HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU FOR GODS SAKE!!!! LOOK PAST YOUR IMPATIENCE AND JUST LOOK IN HIS EYES AT HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU!!! HELLLOOOO???!!! HE IS NOT TRYING TO SELL HIS HOUSE FOR HIS HEALTH YA KNOW!!! HE'S DOING IT BECAUSE HE WANTS TO BE WITH YOU!!! AND HE WILL BE!!! JUST BE PATIENT!!!!!!!!!!!
*breaths heavy* end of butt kicking....remember i love you......
I think a lot of it, is putting walls up...you get scared, you don't want to get hurt. But seriously, do you think that your life will be happier and better without Dan? I mean think about it logically, with your brain, and not your heart. What will you lose if he is gone? What will you gain if he is gone? How will your life be happier? I honestly don't think it would be happier. I think you are kidding yourself when you say you can't do it anymore. of course you can! Look at all the things you have done so far? What happened to being a strong confident woman?
We all know here that you are a strong confident woman, and that you can do it. You do have the patience and the willingness to do it..YOU just have to remember it. You can't expect everything to fall into place...you believe in God right? Do things happen when we want them, or do they happen on God's time? Maybe there are things that need to be worked out within yourself, or within Dan before you can be together...you need to keep the faith. If you truely believe that Dan and you are meant to be, then you have to have the faith that it will happen.
Keep yourself busy...try not to make him a priority...be with your kids, do things for yourself...and he will start being the one to contact first, and he will start to miss you and realize all the things you do to keep it going strong. Is he worth it? You are the only one that can decide it, but we all know you can do it.
What's the rush? Don't be in such a hurry to speed along your relationship to its final destination. Enjoy the present. Impatience ruins romance in no time flat.
Take a deep breath; otherwise, your impatience is going to ruin this before its time to get going.
As others have said, there are plenty who care. We all would not be commenting otherwise.