Not sure why I am up at this hour, I mean soon the kids will be up arguing with each other, wanting something from me, whether it's money, a hug, or just to B$%ch at because I forgot to wash an item of clothing that they HAD to wear to school today...all the same...I have hugged my kids a little (ok a lot) tighter and I have cried many tears since the recent shooting. There is NOTHING like a Mother's love. I guess that's why on this site it places me in a weird spot since I am the age or older of many of your parents...the ones that you complain about your "controlling parents" and such. Oh if I could turn back time and treat my Mom just a little better and tell her more how much I love her, we may not have the awful relationship we do now. My kids are my entire world. I love them so much and the recent tragedy has left me shaken, but yet so very appreciative of what I do have.

Moving on....I have been wanting to come here and talk about the Naked truth. No you aren't going to hear about my naked escapades (whew the crowd says!)...but rather of how different I am and how my relationship has changed since going from LDR to CD.

We now are approaching three years of being together. We closed the distance at 19 months...which means we almost have been living together as long as we were apart. There are parts of me that miss the LD. Yes you can read that....I miss that. I am a very independent person and sometimes it's hard to have someone all up in my grill. I miss the late night chats and the time where we didn't have the pressure of "real life" of "real jobs" and "real bills" looming over our heads. Of trying to cram in a few minutes of precious time to talk when you both are exhausted from work, from life.

When LD you can just hang up the phone and attend to life. In CD you have to face it head on. Kids. Kids have brought an interesting mix to CD. I never realized just how much my kids take me for granted. One thing you can't criticize me on is my parenting. It is so hard to have someone move in and give you the cold truth (much needed btw) about your children.

Ahh so many things have come to light since we have been CD. I love him so very much, but there are times I don't like him so much. Would I do it any other way? Not at all. I have learned so much about me in the process, about how easily I just give up and not work through problems. My husband is so different in this aspect. He helps see me through the end of a problem, he has more patience than a saint. With my broken knee injury and all the pain and problems that I have faced through that the past year, he has dealt with my moodiness and lack of self worth and through it all he has been my rock and has wiped away tears of frustration, pain, and of recent joy. I love him. I truly do.

Call it old age, lessons learned, or just plain life I have realized what was wrong in any previous relationship...I always looked for someone else to complete me. With this relationship I have found that being complete in ME first I am strongest.

Ah life. Married....hasn't always been easy...but definitely worth it.