My life has been a whirlwind. I have learned who my true friendships are...and those that don't matter. I am no longer putting up with people that think they can say hurtful things and just keep turning the knife. OVER IT.

Noone knows what I went through with Dan. Until someone has lived with an alcoholic, went through the abuse, felt the wrath, the worry, and the hurt....one can't judge.

How can I get married a year after I married another man?

Well I can. I am 43 years old. I know my heart. I was married (?) it wasn't a marriage...to Dan for 4 months. It was NEVER consummated. I will spell that out...we never had sex. Reread that. NEVER. He hated even kissing me as he said I was too rough.....He couldn't get it up due to medical problems and refused treatment till I left him and he learned he had a medical issue. Instead of blaming himself it was turned on me to make me feel unattractive..that's why he couldn't get it up. I dealt with that for 3 years. Why did I stay? I LOVED him. I thought my love could change things. That if he finally had someone who loved him unconditionally through all his problems he would want to change. Fail. First of all I should have never wanted to CHANGE him. And when he decided to change it had to be for him. I settled for a lot of things and put myself last. I got into therapy and realized just how much I was losing ME. How much I had lost me.

My relationship with Vernon is like NONE I have ever had. It's based on respect and maturity. We do things together. I am not sitting home while Dan is sleeping. He worked third shift and slept from 9 am till 9 pm. He got up around two for like an hour. On his days off we never did anything together. I can count on one hand when we went out and did something in the 3 years we were together. I felt like he was ashamed of being seen with me by the things he said. It is amazing to do things all the time with the love of my life. He is outgoing yet shy at the same time.

All my life I have always searched for a partner that was the opposite of me. Isn't that what they say? Opposites attract......Well my exes are very much alike. Fast forward to now...

Vernon and I are SOOO much alike in SO many ways. I have never felt SO connected to a man. I can be goofy, serious, emotional, and he GETS ME.

The sex. The connection we have is BEAUTIFUL. It's not just an act...it's an experience. I will keep it PG but I truly could make this R BIG TIME.

August 17th is the big day. A simple wedding....his family and our friends...by a waterfall....a lifetime commitment.