Blog time.

New job. Getting my ASS kicked. I have been so set in my ways with my job. I tooted myself as a great server and knew it all. I held my head high. I did the job for 15 years and had no fears whatsoever. I think that I purposely pull the rug out from under me...to gain some sense of what the hell ever. I mean I left a job I was secure in because I wasn't making good money anymore because business had declined. I was sick of power tripping bosses who treated everyone as sub normal. I now am in another serving job where I am having a TON of info being thrown at me. Training is intense. I am RUNNING to keep up with the trainers. There is so much to learn and it is A LOT....my brain is going to burst.
I like the restaurant. I love the energy and the people are fun. It's nice to go somewhere that people don't know about Dan. That don't know what happened to me last year. It's nice to come to a place that knows only me with my fiance'. Noone believes that I am my age. People just laugh and say yeah right. Like I would lie about it. Today is my day off. I am literally sore in places I never thought I could ache. My body is on fire. It's going to be a lot to get use to, that's for sure. My boss told me last night that I am my own worse critic. She said..."I believe in you, I don't doubt for a minute you can't do this"...but there is me that has to know EVERYTHING and I am so afraid that I will fail. We have a huge test and then a personal EVAL where the owner/managers sit and you wait on them. It's a big deal. People think serving is so easy. Try doing it and try working for a big corporate. It's A LOT!

Vernon works with me and that is odd. I've worked three shifts and he has only been there one..but it is weird as all the line knows who I am and is so sweet to me because they know him. Some of the waitresses will tell me how hot my man is. Now usually I am not jealous...but part of me twitches when I hear that. But the other part is like....HOT DAMN...this I know.


Wedding. Ahh wedding is in 25 days. I am HELLA excited. I have lost 20 pounds. I haven't tried the dress back on. I am hoping it fits better. Worse case scenario? New dress. I can rock anything. LOL. I am getting my hair done at 10 that morning and then I have someone doing my makeup ( I have a friend who is a makeup artist)....The days are flying by and I couldn't be happier. There is a part of me that keeps second guessing him. It drives him crazy.. Again last night....in the dark...I laid with my back to him and he was holding me and he whispered... "Please let me love you." and I replied "I do." and he said... "fully.".....I have never had a man love and adore me like this before. I am ready. He truly is the beat of my soul as corny as that sounds.

He has made me reevaluate my life...believe in me again and take a step out in faith in SO Many areas of my life.

True love.

I found it.

And I am never letting it go.