Blegh! I had wanted today to go so smooth, i wanted to talk and have a fun conversation and just it sorta died. We talked for about a hour. I asked about his day and he told me about his plans for the next few days. And then the conversation kind of died. I felt like he was maybe distracted or doing something else? But i wasn't any fun either, i didn't know what to talk about and idk... just wasn't how i wanted so i said i was gonna go, that i loved him and his reply was "love you too" so i guess he wasn't having any fun either. He's going to be gone for the next few days and i think its good. Time apart is a good thing sometimes, and then i can ask about his time and he can share his days with me.

Have certain feelings right now idk how to deal with them. feeling frusterated nd i don't really feel like i can discuss them with him, cause its not really fair so ehh just makes me feel moody and idk....

He's gone tomorrow and can talk to me again sunday, so im making plans already, and im going to try to focus only on me and not focus so much of my time and thoughts on him. I think thats why i get upset is because so much of my attention and focus is on him. Even when im out and about i have him on my mind. Out at the mall furniture shopping but in my head i was wondering about him and daydreaming. And then coming home and not getting to really talk to him, lol feels like he's not real sometimes. And then!! when i do talk to him its either sweet but to short or i have him to myself and i go blank and don't speak or say what i need to or just ehh i really really hate this, so cannot wait to end the distance.

Anyways! Tomorrow i have a dance class trying out so thats fun, and i believe im babysitting, and i plan to make plans and keep busy and have a fun week!