I love the affection Nathan gives to me. Its fun to tease each other or have serious conversations. But i love expressing our love to each other. I hate my smile. I really don't like my smile and avoid having to in pics and such but he makes me smile so much. i get butterflys and still haven't figured out what i did to be so lucky that i have him in my life.

Just 42 more days and 20 hours until he is here and with me! 6 weeks till he is all mine. I have so much i want to give him. So much love that i couldn't fully give him because he isn't here with me. I have so many I love you's i want to say and hear in person. I can't wait to see his face, i want to hold him and be held so badly by him. So soon, im a bit scared. Im not nervous but im self concious. I've never had to look good or pay attention to my actions much. But when he comes i really don't want him to be disappointed. Which at this point should be a silly worry i know. We have been together long enough that we love each other for who we really are. Still I want him to feel like he's the lucky one. Want him to come and be with me and realize im all he needs and he can't possibly ever leave me. lol i hope he feels how i feel about him.

So soon! Anyways today i got to talk with him and i love sharing moments together. He truly is the best part of my days, means so much to me.

Anyways gonna wash up now. Just finished painting and i thought i was going to die! was so hot!! I was melting!!