lol u ever start to cry for a silly reason? Like now, im crying and its so stupid, and everyones right outside my door so i need to stop. i had thought now that he wasnt busy with college we would get to talk more . I haven't talked to nathan in 4 days. And i found out im leaving for a few days and maybe its just me. I thought i was doing good to I haven't focused on nathan these past few days, been keeping busy. But course i miss him. He came on just now and i got so excited lol u know, all the butterflys, but he was working all day barely geting in at 2am,my poor babys such a hard worker. we talked for 5 minutes, then he said he was going to sleep, i told him ill be away for awhile he said aw then i said night and he left... and i cried lol how silly huh? but i wanted more, i wouldnt have let him stay up course not he's shattered, but i wanted him to offer, to want me and i know he does so its so silly to be upset, but i do feel idk hurt? im not upset with him in any way, im just idk... idk am i horrible? im wanting to much and im trying not to want, i really am, and i was doing good, i could have handled not talking to him for a few more days but when he came on and all my bieng patient and waiting went away and i wanted him.... ehh idk how we've been together for so long when im so needy.

eh hafta stay hidden now lol i look scary with my makeup smeared and red eyes lol