So today I woke up and went online to see what he wrote, he left a message telling me he had a question. And then when I went on FB he left me a comment. Told me he loves me. But I find this so sweet and a bit funny. Had just thought about this, how I wanted to leave him a message but was to shy to actually do it. I didn't want to be or ummm idk, lol i was just nervous to.... idk why but like with things that involve his friends and family, i get nervous. Im over self concious. But him leaving me one makes me feel loved and special. And he doesn't care who on his side see's so that makes me feel even more special.

Today we talked, and gosh he wants to do so much this year! I am imagining a proposal, and he says and mentions things, so i am assuming its going to be asked in 2012! So soon. So this is huge, this is everything, the biggest commitment we can make to each other is choosing to spend the rest of our lifes together. I know my answer lol I know my feelings and I know how I feel about him and how he makes me feel. But this is a big part of our lives. And on top of this, this year I will be meeting all his family and his friends. Also another big thing. Leaving my home is also huge. I have never ever been out of state without my family. This year before Nathan came down I had never been more than a hour away. So me leaving the country is going to be huge. Im scared of travelling on the plane alone. He keeps reassuring me, and I know i will be fine... but it's a bit scary since I never have flown alone, and the first time is from the US to the UK! So nervous. But all these are huge things and he's doing all the work. I feel guilty, but i been telling myself this is just a small part of our lives that i'll have time to make it up and do my share.

But now he's saying and talking about travelling a bit when there! And I should just say no I don't want to go. But the places he named. There places you dream as your dream vacation. That some people work and save up for years. For me to go to PARIS, the most romantic place I can think of with the love of my life? Really? Your asking me if i want to go? Of course I want to go with you. But it's not that simple. This just adds to the list of things he's done for me. When im there i won't be taking care of myself. He's feeding me, letting me stay with him, everything. So to add more, i feel like im being selfish for wanting to go. But he puts it into my head!! Lol he asks me if i wouldn't mind travelling. List places like France or Italy. Say places nearby are Paris, Rome, Barcelona. I mean really? Your listing all these amazing beautiful places. I've seen these in movies, daydreamed before about being to any of these. And he says it can be a reality. For him it is, he's been all over. And I wish I could join him, but it feels wrong to jump on board when he's already taking care of me. So i think im going to have to insist on not going anywhere far. Tell him I change my mind on Paris, and Disney Paris. Wait until I can help pay too.

He's just so just everything. He's amazing. From the time that i've been with him till now, he has always put my needs on top. Always been considerate, passionate, loving and kind. And on top of being here for me emotionally. And taking care of my needs. He wants to spoil me. He is to good to be mine. He is such a caring person. He wants to start our life, to be a daddy, to love me. He is truly the best part of my life. I love him so much.