So working on a small project, not going to give it to him till august lol but im inpatient. Anyways my dad comes in and im showing it to him, on the top I signed my name. And then he asks me if i'd take Nathan's name. I told him course, that if you get married you take your husbands name, that what i've always believed. And then he said I could always stay, and that a lot of famous and powerful woman keep there last names. I told him no, i'll be taking his last name when we get married. And then the conversation switched, to sex. He said something like i already gave myself to someone now, so im sleeping with someone elses husband? Or that Nathan was sleeping with someone elses wife. I made a face, I hate that my mind can't come up with a reply fast enough. But he instantly apologized with im sorry, hope it all works out for you. But then continues to say well he married his girl. In my mind I wanted to say that i plan to marry my Nathan, and he's the only one....but i get to scared of dad to.... so i keep my mouth shut. But then he goes your not engaged are you, and i told him no. Which is true lol even if he's bought a ring and we both know we want our life together, technically not engaged yet so i didn't lie. Then he went on to how i need to make me a priority and live my life for me and get a job and not depend on Nathan. Which im trying not to... its just this summer, i can't do it on my own. And im selfish, i want the time with him i was willing to let him pay for it all. I sometimes wonder if this will hurt him or us in the future. Am i to much of a burden?

But now i have so many thoughts in my head. Dad makes me scared, and with all the negativity sometimes, i always pray Nathan can stay strong through it all. I never want to loose him. I do believe in being with only one man. I only want my Nathan, to be the only one to love me this way, to touch me, to be there for me. And one day my family will see, that what i have is real, and that Nathan is the one. I feel they think were not going to last, and ill just fall for someone else and give myself to someone else. And it hurts, I do value myself that much. And I knew in my heart when i was with Nathan that this was right, I still feel the same and always will. I love him so much, always and forever, i make that promise and i plan to keep it. I'll be stubborn as hell and never let him walk away, he's mine for life. <3