I bragged about my baby lol a few times actually,this morning with a family friend, and then she exchanged FB with mom, but then going online seeing his pics kinda depressed me.... that weird? lol they were good ones of him (course.... lol my sexy man) but just made me miss, and idk why but kinda put a damper on my mood.... Which wasn't nice, i think dad noticed it, but he notices everything so... But I should apoligize to him, he came and hugged me but I pulled away, I get moody sometimes. In those moods I want to be left alone, lol i can be mean...
I go home tomorrow, and im looking forward to going back home, but it will be back to just me.... I need more hobbies, other then reading, drawing and cooking dinner... ehh Im at a stand still, and being here being reminded constantly that im not doing anything, just forces me to see there right. Its just for the moment though, but i feel guilty sometimes for agreeing to going to Scotland, and i wonder if me going was the right thing that here i am just being happy but not productive. Dad makes it sound bad living for love. Is it? I do plan to get started with work as soon as i come home. I know Nathan doesn't see it this way, and is okay with doing everything, but is he not seeing clearly? Dad says im being a anchor to him, and i do at times feel im bringing him down. I used to a lot and now i've pushed that out of my mind and been accepting him just taking care of all this, and now im worrying. I don't ever want to take him for granted, im scared i'll start to if i just keep accepting everything and let him take care of me so easily. And I want to be a team player, I don't know. I can't describe what im feeling about myself.
On a positive note Zumba was fun, lol bragged about my baby again here too. Not sure now tho if when im there if i can handle going to zumba every time lol Well see
But we went and my mom won a prize, so thats fun. Then did a bit of weights and working out in the gym part. Im still achy, I don't want to do anymore exercise lol
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I just wanted to comment, hope all keeps on going well and only gets better for you!
I wanted to respond to this. I think it's only a bad thing if it's all you have. For example, I think it's important for an individual to be able to identify what they have going for themselves without their SO in the picture. If my boyfriend ended things with me, I would still have my school, my future career, my current job, and my classes that I go to Monday through Thursday. I would still have my pets and my family, and I would still have my hobbies of reading and writing. The list goes on. I would also be able to tell you who I am and what I want to do in life, and where my place is. These are things I personally find important, because I think it's important not to live for your partner.
With that being said, of course your partner is going to become a big part of your life! They're your partner! You're in love! And you and Nathan are soon to be engaged, too, which is exciting!
In short, I don't think it's a bad thing to "live for love" so long as you aren't living for your partner, as in your sole world revolves and beats around them. Being so dependent on someone that you would be completely lost (not devestated, but lost in the very literal sense of the world and not in the metaphoric way in which we use it) without them is where it gets to be unhealthy. But if you still have your own hobbies, your own life, your own plans/dreams/goals, etc. and if you are still able to have those things without Nathan, then I don't think there's anything wrong with getting swept up in your fairytale.