Today was an emotional day. It wasn't bad but it was emotional. The clock is ticking down, and i'll see my baby soon. Really nothing i write, and no words can describe just how much I ache and crave to see him, how much i miss him. With my family he's worried we won't get as much time as we want together. And I understand why and his side. Being with me is hard, and he doesn't just get me, but also my family butting there nose in where it doesn't belong. I'll be twenty this year but they still feel they need to supervise and keep tabs on me and him. I get so frustrated with all of them, where I want to say screw it, im done telling you anything and cutting my ties because every time i have come to them and involved them they flip out and yes i understand there just concerned and love me. But it's to emotionally draining and they make me feel horrible about myself all the time. That im just using him, or taking or not accomplished and just frustrating.
Anyways with this visit he's only here for 2 weeks, and at some point my parents are going to want a sit down talk with him, because this is the last time they'll see him before i leave for 5 months. So I know we have to have one day with them, and i already said we would. But Nathans worried that its' going to be more then that. My mom wanted to spend the night another night, and we have a family party, and my cousins keep saying how they want to see him and come over every day, plus i live with my nana, so he's worried that these two weeks are going to be spit with all my family and we wont get any time together.
It's been 8 months since we last seen each other, and I won't lie, its been really hard. And really emotional. Especially since telling my parents everything, and the comments and harsh words and just drama drama drama. Me and him really need our time together.
I feel bad though, when he was last here I missed out on some moments with him. Like I was so stupid being moody and just stupid. I sometimes just get quiet and moody for no good reason. But this visit, he has no idea what he's in for. Im going to be all over him, he better be prepared. And yeah i know the kids want to play with him, but he's going to have to play with them with me in his lap or cuddled up to him or just. I have 8 months worth of miss to give him!! I was up late and just cried a few nights ago, and i had no real reason, because we talked, plus im seeing him soon, but i was just in bed alone frusterated crying. I miss him so dang much!! I have some days im just moody and frusterated and a tad mad, because he isn't here. So he has no reason to worry about me being distant or to myself. It's fully me and him. First day there going to be around but im going to lock my door and just spend it with him until bed time. Bed time sucks, nana already said seperate beds, but i'll be staying up as late as i can, and on days she works, at 4am im sneaking in his bed as soon as she leaves the house. Every moment and second i can get with him im taking it. Sounds bad but i miss wrapping my leg around him and cuddling in bed. I miss when its morning and we wake up his sleepy face, and he leans in and kisses me. I miss everything. 19 more days!! grr why cant it be 19 hours or better 19 minutes lol, thats all i need, I can go wash up and ready in 19 minutes. Miss him so dang much!!
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kiara_silver started a blog post Bad girlfiendBad girlfiend
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Your post here made me miss him even more especially with the "i miss wrapping my leg around him and cuddling in bed" because I remember whenever Chris and I snuggled I'd want to be as close as possible to him and every single second pressed up close with him lol. He even was saying how he wanted to make me all our meals and have me sit up in his room relaxing. and I got a bit silly mad with him and said how I actually liked cooking with him.. I just feel like whenever I'm there I want to be with him every second.. which isn't really possible but we try. I also wanted to say I know how you feel about wanting to wake up next to him in the morning. I loved that feeling. I'm scared when he comes here that my parents wouldn't like us sleeping in the same bed.. so I worry about how to ask them.. because I don't know how to handle separate beds haha.. I'm kinda hoping either I'll say it in a good way and my mom will be understanding and/or we have our own place by then.. because his first time here will probably be to stay.
Anyways enough of my ramble, just wanted to say I understand, I also get really emotional and moody sometimes for no good reason, especially when without my boy beside me to comfort me right away!! I hope time flys by quickly for you and you get lots of nice time together when he's there!