So my countdown is at 10 days. Im in the final week before I go, I leave not this but next tuesday! And I am ready and excited. Im missing my baby a lot, I want to see him so badly. But at the same time, I want to make sure I don't suffercate him. I don't want his family to think im a clingy gf. And at times I am, I need to work on that. I guess because im used to a certain amount of affection? He's always been so loving and attentive, that I don't expect to have it all the time, but when I don't for a day I notice enough for me to think, whats wrong? I have to work on this and to give him space. I think this is one of my problems, im a needy person with him. As far as affection, I crave it from him. Im afraid with this visit his family might see me as being to emotional, or clingy and then he might feel I am and then just ehh lol But im probably over thinking things. When you have someone so amazing you want to be the best for him and to make sure your worth it. i want to continue to be worth it for him.

On other news, I am not going to culinary this year. I wrote in past blogs how I got the opportunity, but it was to soon for me. I would like to go for a visit and then come back for a few months and try to go next year. Well today I got an email from them! Asking me if I was still interested, and to write them back. I hadn't even sent the application! So this was exciting. I wrote back telling them I am very interested, and would like to check out the school, and plan on not this year but next. This is exciting! All our dreams and plans might happen.

Yes im still here in the US right now. But in this next year and a half, I could be engaged and in school! Can you believe that?
Right now im not sure when, but im hoping that by the time i come back and go to school, Nathan will have asked me to marry him. We have talked a lot about marriage, he knows my answer. I can wait, but with us being international, a wedding and getting married will be a process. So I want to be engaged so I can announce to my family I have chosen who im spending my life with. Let them see how happy he makes me. Have time to look and fully understand the legal process. figure out by talking with family where we would have the wedding and who wants to be involved. But can't get to far ahead of myself, not engaged yet lol I love my Nathan so much. So yes I can wait.... but gah to be the future mrs! mhmmm I want to be his so badly.

But off the topic of love. Seeing my family today, got a girls night planned for tonight. Im looking for a scary movie, I have The innkeepers and Forget me not, saved. Havent seen them, are they scary? Looking for a really scary movie to watch together.