I feel like im my mind is going to ruin things. Its always causing issues, im starting to feel like im becoming over something, idk, over controlling, over emotional? idk... But i don't want to bring anything else up with Nathan, i feel like im constantly having something new to worry about or complain about, and im going to end up wearing him out. Because it seems like i do it constantly. Yes in the end talking it out helps, I know this. But can to much emotion be bad? Im scared of being to much.
Im always having questions, thoughts and worries... Weather about college, my family, my future worries, money, or Nathan. And he's always the one I vent to...
And a lot of times its silly things, im not a very confident person, and im a mess... I get scared he'll not be able to deal with all of me one day and in the end i'll be the one to ruin the best part of my life, he truly is the best part of my life. So eh I need to be strong and deal with the thoughts in my head and get over it...
I don't know where the line is either, if im asking to much, or can i ask for more. Spending our lifes together theres nothing to hide, but does that mean being apart of everything, or is that asking to much, how much privacy, how much space...
On a positive note, started collecting Disney pins! Nathan has got me obsessed lol He has his collection that he's started since he was about 6 years old, and when we were in Paris in June he bought me a pin. And now recently looking through his collection, its just so cool. I have always loved Disney, grew up watching it, and its something we share a love for, and so he said he would give me some of his extras, and now its grown from there. I now have 20 something pins, and theres a order on the way for us both. And we leave to disneyland again soon, less than 2 weeks from now back for the halloween season. And this time with pins to trade! Its like a club, a worldwide club
That im now apart of lol And its something we get to share between me and Nathan.Im a very lucky girl, I know this, and I have so many blessings, I need to focus on the good and not the little things. Everything will happen how its supossed to happen. Pray that this next year goes well and I get accepted into culinary
May be a bigger year next year, and this one was huge! So many things, and again gonna say it. Im engaged!!! lol crazy, I found someone whose just as crazy and has been able to put up with me lol