I can't sleep

kiara_silver started a blog post I can't sleep
October 23, 2012, 07:42 PM
I can't sleep

Its 1:37am. I leave in a hour and I should be sleeping cuddled up to Nathan but I can't.... I can't get to sleep at all... Ive spent the past hour and a half tossing and turning and staring out into the dark room. I just cant relax and get some rest. Im all just blah inside, I don't want to go.... And part of me feels like im going to struggle with this long distance again harder then the previous times, and more then Nathan will this time. I hope he does fine, he had a rough past year, so I hope the time apart he stays busy and keeps occupied. But ehh im dreading being apart...

I need to sleep i know, but i think i'll just try to on the plane.
Theres stuff i haven't done here yet, things i still want to do....and something i want to ask Nathan before I go, but not sure if i'll have the time now. I want another month.... but if all goes as planned i'll be back here 6-8 tops, I can do this right?

My profile picture on here puts a smile on my face, seeing my fiance. The way he's holding me, im lucky and I need to just remind myself of how much he loves me, that this distance won't last forever.

Sorry for all my sappyness and whinning, just bummed im leaving
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1 comment
- #1
  
  squeeker commented
  
  October 23, 2012, 08:48 PM
  
  Editing a comment
  
  Aww I know how hard it is to leave.. I know you'll be able to handle being apart. Because if he's worth it (which it sounds like he is) then you'll be able to do it. Keep in mind it's not forever, and you even seem to have pretty solid closing the distance plans for the not too distant future so I hope that all goes well for you. And remember that even when you are apart physically, you still have someone amazing in your life and who will wait for you to be together in a few months. I noticed you wrote that about an hour ago so you'll be about to leave or have just left by now.. I know that is very hard to do. I remember when I had to leave in the taxi to the airport that was taking me away from my SO again.. all I could think of was that the taxi was going the wrong way and I actually had moments where I wanted to tell the taxi to turn around.. or even later when I was sitting on the plane and it was about to taxi and runway to take off.. and was staring out at the manchester airport, and wanted to jump off the plane and go back to my SO! But of course I couldn't do that. It sucks when you have to do things you don't want to do. Of course when I got back here, all my family and friends were welcoming me back and saying how long it's been.. I felt so bad because part of me didn't want to come back! lol
  
  Anyways I just wanted to respond and let you know everyone here knows how you feel and you'll be okay. The next 6-8 months will go by faster than you know it. Take care
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I can't sleep