Hattie had a day off today so, like usual, we had a little tea party. It wasn't like they usually are, mainly because we'd nearly had an argument on AIM minutes before about my asking him to quit smoking. He wasn't happy about it and, personally, I felt he handled it worse than I thought he needed to. But maybe that was because I didn't really start that conversation off too well, I have a hard time being utterly serious without using sarcasm or dry humor. It's my defense.
Our first one lasted 7 hours, this, our... 5th, I think? Lasted only 1. He forgot to buy regular tea and only had some sleepy-time tea so he kinda passed out on me, but we didn't do much beyond talk about the story idea he had. Which is fine, but I miss playing around with him and the moments where we just look at each other and don't speak. Then again I hardly ever look at the screen, I get so nervous I fidget. This time I ended up playing with my nail file the entire time. I feel bad and every time I speak the words "I love you" they always seem so sarcastic in my ears. He's going to sleep the day away, and he needs the sleep, but it feels unfair because I get so depressed when these moments are cut short for any reason. Right now I really wanna cry, I was hoping for more so that when he goes weeks without a day off or I go days without even talking to him, I feel like the little time I had made it all worth the wait. I'm selfish, I guess, I want more time with him. At least I got to see his face and hear his voice. I've craved both for weeks. His voice is comforting, even when he's teasing me.
He keeps asking me when I'm going to get there, too. Right now it's so useless, he's at work from dusk til dawn so it wouldn't matter. We tried when he had a week off, but that flubbed. I just.. I'm getting tired of him asking like it's so simple and he can just drop everything that moment for my visit. He can't. I shouldn't be angry, I know he wants to be with me as much as I do with him, but it's like I'm the one left to gather the details and right the wrongs of it all. Maybe I'm just speaking out of annoyance, that's not fair to him.
But, on a good note, he actually is wearing the Love Knows No Distance bracelet I bought him. I wish mine would come in.
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Also, I found these a while back but they're currently out of stock, a Japanese import site sells fake cigarettes that you put little mint packets into so you get the oral fixation, NO nicotine, and it's like they're kinda puffing a mint. It's supposed to help them quit. http://www.thisnext.com/item/BEBD177...ng-Helper-Mint There's a site that links it to the place that sells it. I don't think they're that expensive, just the site takes a while to ship the stuff to you depending.
But really I think if you try to work with your SO, like first asking him to cut back, cut back, then try to go x amount of days without one or one every x days first before the outright "quit" might help. If you know when you'll see them then work with that. Me, I don't know when I'll see him, but for my safety I need him to get 'clean' as quick as possible to help eliminate the smoke smell off himself, at the very least. Have you talked to him about it? Is there a reason he won't?