I love that song. I like Chantal Chamberland's cover, I love her voice. It's always the song that goes through my brain when it's really quiet around here and I think about him.

Been sleeping an insane amount lately, I think it's depression and just a lack of wanting to do anything. But it does lend to some interesting dreams.

A lot of my dreams never make sense and sort of just blend things together in some nonsensical, rather hilarious stories. Other times they're simple, and others are like small books. I had two about Hattie yesterday, only one I texted to him because it was so hilarious. (all he could text back was "..." I think it scared him)

He's bi and I'm straight, he's told me he's been with guys before and I don't care I have nothing against that stuff. Frankly I don't give a crap about much, let's put it that way. Anyhow, I dreamt he called me on the phone really upset telling me he was going full-out gay because he wanted 6 male coworkers and some other dude "like SOOOOO bad!" and he didn't think he'd ever go back to women. Instead of being upset I kinda went quiet and enthusiastically replied, "No, no this is cool. I'll just chop off my boobs and grow a dick! It'll be fun!" And I was serious. I woke myself up by laughing so hard I was crying. Sad part is I would totally become a guy for him and I'd find it fun as all get out. I have an odd sense of humor.

The second dream I woke up depressed. I had apparently flown out to see him but I don't remember anything before him telling me he had to be up for work real early so we went to bed. It was obvious we weren't going to have sex but I didn't want to touch him because I was scared he wouldn't want me to or we'd end up getting each other hot'n bothered enough that we'd do it anyway. I curled up on one side and he kept trying to get me to get off the edge of the bed by teasing me via tickling my sides and grabbing my butt and pinching it until I hit him. Neither of us were falling asleep so we talked about nothing in particular and here and there one of us would doze for a few minutes. He would still pinch my butt just to make me hit him, I guess because he wanted at least that much contact from me. It was growing later and he said he only had 15 minutes left before he had to get up so I mustered up all my courage, rolled over, and wrapped my arms around his torso and snuggled into his side. I could feel him. I could feel how solid his body was, how warm his skin was, every rise and fall of his chest and even the rough areas of chest hair that was growing back from the last time he'd shaved it off. He laughed, which is what he usually does when I peek out my shy little shell and try to be some degree of bold, and put an arm around me and leaned down, asking for a kiss. When I kissed him, again I actually felt his lips, his warmth, and I felt my head spin. Eventually he told me he had to go to work, I whined childishly, and he pecked my cheek before leaving. I woke up and nearly cried. I FELT everything even though we've never touched.

Still no word on my bracelet. I ordered them both on the 2nd. I hope mine didn't get lost in the mail, I really really wanna wear it.