Last in the Scared trilogy posts.

As you can see I was not admitted. Actually it was never suggested, which I'm happy about, but I have my issues about that visit but I won't go into detail.

I talked to Hattie this morning before he went to work, fully intent on sharing my fear or at least asking if he'd, despite my wanting him to quit, cop a smoke break around 4:30pm his time so I could call him with the results. After the usual "how'd you sleep?/how are you?" he told me about how next week would be worse than what he's been going through now, though I never got to ask why. Instantly my problems were dropped and I asked him what I could do, and he told me I was already helping him. It made me feel good even if I felt like I could do more if I tried.

In the end, when he had to go, I realized that despite, he gave me strength. I wasn't scared anymore, and I went into the appointment head held high. I'm like a pillar, I suppose. I am strong and help hold up a building, but without the building I am nothing and can no longer be strong for it or myself to make sure I can go on. Just as if I crumble, it comes down with me. I hold him up and give him strength, just as he gives me strength to keep being strong, to live knowing I'm here for the both of us.

Bah, so anyway I'm feeling better. PLUUUUUUS, my bracelet came in today! Woo! I keep making the joke brown looks good against my skin, little dirty joke since his skin's about the same shade as this bracelet. When he showed me his on webcam last week it blended in so much the only way I could tell was I saw the words. XD He should be getting that joke Father's Day card I drew (I love handmaking cards. The backs where the brand logo and motto goes is always fun to do) either tomorrow or Saturday. I wish I could see the look on his face when he opens it. I'd laugh myself into a coma.